Shortstories update

Okay okay, I have been on a lonog haitus from shortstory writing it seems, let alone blogging.. but hey, you'll be surprised, it's not the case. you can ask the minimart aunty from my condo. i spend about an hour everyday writing on notebooks and on my laptop.

Mr & Mrs Jones is the longest story I have ever written and it has 24401 words and I'm only halfway done. See above image.
Chapter 12 (Extract)
The ominous night sky was brighter than anything around her that night. Assuring her daughter lay asleep in the bedroom , Jasmine quietly opened the front gate of her house and stood outside. Breathe. She only drew in the cold that sent shivers through her so she ran.

She ran. She ran because she didn’t want to lie in bed thinking, she ran to leave everything that were trying to seep into her skin, she ran till she felt pain within herself, muscles resisting, her sinew inflamed.

Run far she told herself because like this, her physical pain would overpower the egging dread of what tomorrow brings back.

The quivering starry glow of street lamps promised distance as she ran ahead. Leaving behind tears of a certain foreboding. when she finally opened her eyes of consciousness, she didn’t know where she was.

Slowing to a walk, she felt the heat within her rise and sweat synthesized into the fibres of her t-shirt, like an ominous realisation. Sieving her fingers through her head full of hair, she gulped down the lump in her throat that was suffocating her. Her index finger shoved away a stray tear that streaked. When she stopped tearing uncontrollably, she stopped in her tracks to plead to God for awhile.

Mercy for her actions, peace in her heart and direction in her life.

Finding a clean and dry spot, she sat down on the path, watching the faraway buildings look back across the road where she resided for a long time through the night that was breaking dawn...

It looks like I cannot go back to short story writing as my other story, a crime investigation mystery, The White Apartment is 15855 words and counting so far. The storyline? I'm still keeping it silent for now :)

Keep a watch here as i try to breathe new air into my old FAVORITE blog again by posting new shortstory updates.

The interest of Singapore Media over the way some Churches run in Singapore

Wow, Singapore Straits Times gave us 11 pages of effective journalism, effectively highlighting the Singapore church environment as some kind of a freak show full of pretense and frivolous glam.

I understand where they come from la really, mixing business and religion: marketing (a concept based on nothing substantial) and money (trouble-maker) comes into the mix. These things eventually will affect what’s being preached, how the service is being run and eventually, attracting certain kinds of people. Certain indulgences churches invest in, does raise eyebrows and just like how the cover go, ‘critics worry that Jesus may be lost in the razzmatazz.”

The objective of the article is lost in the report. I mean if you actually read it all, it elaborates nothing less than a huge freak show, where they make the readers really wonder how these tens of thousands can be so blind by all the lights and sounds.

But do the lights and sounds really blind them: Is their rock concert style really something we should harp on considering charismatic churches have been jumping like that for decades? Are the prosperity sermons really cunning baits as people say they are, when there are promises in the bible aligned to that? I see no conscious effort to firstly introduce the clueless why Christians tithe, worship or even elaborate on why Christians go to church. Tens of thousands willing to come. I don’t think they are that gullible and stupid as the papers portray them to be la.

Unfortunately, like a face palm/poke your own backside, there are some of those quotes by loose tongued preachers and Christians who really should just shuddap.

Don’t get me wrong, i am very open to criticism against christianity being a believer of doubt, but I can sniff out people who if it were a general paper exam, they will fail very badly. Remember mega churches are one end of the trajectory of church behavior, throwing in an insight into the small churches thing at the penultimate page was done as if to sympathize with the ‘other’ side of the picture is all but a halfhearted attempt. Its really the same side of the picture when you portray the way churches ‘steal’ members from each other. Everyone chooses his or her comfortable church pls. No one is stealing anyone from anyone; there is no competition at all. Churches want new converts than one who already is a christian it’s called evangelism. ‘Church shopping’ as they put it is really, finding the right church you are comfortable with this has been going on for decades and people move church for reasons ranging from marriage to shift house. We are really spoilt for choice! Yes, 700 churches here, but that doesn’t mean that we compete.

However I agree with Matthew Matthew’s point on page 4 abt the appeal of this modern structure of church building for megachurches. Their delving into business as part of their growth strategy is a grey area. Singaporeans are kiasu, money loving, and hardworking success chasers. That’s why success-chasing christians here would choose churches that ‘gravitate towards the big, efficient and successful’. mega churches are ‘trendy, cool, and market savvy’, a blessing to be part of that organization where everything is so famous, big, grand and comfortable. So I guess some clever entrepreneurial pastors had seized the opportunity to make use of the local culture and trends here to good use. If you look at it in a way whereby them investing in such amounts to put on such a show, allow them to attract so many new converts at such a fast rate, is it really a bad investment of their money? Even to me, a hard-core critical person, I say no, good effective investments keep it up.

We need to get it into our heads that religious establishments can be rich; many have been rich, for centuries all over the world. But if somehow there is valid proof of abuse of money, the church is corrupt and I’m sure the church would dissolve by itself. If churches indulge in prosperity messages over and over, more than any other messages, it’s not giving the congregation the full picture. If churches investment in activities which purpose is far from divine where you cant trail back it’s link to say evangelism or discipleship, these are those I feel are also worthy to be lamented on the papers. There were hints of this happening but not enough evidence or follow up on it at all, leaving me perturbed and making wild guesses.



This brings me to my next point. What amazes me are also some of their choice of photographs in the article, namingly a few which show girls in scantily clad outfits shaking away on the stage of events held by city harvest. i remember watching my own church dancers who I felt looked funny wearing a black leotard under a short dress. Now i know what my church would look to the judging world if a paparazzi were to come in and snap away. Then, there’s one with the Hanna of a guy’s arm that read ‘Jesus, name above all names’, hmm indeed serving no purpose but to depict Jesus freaks as the freaks that they are, and being proud of it. As i said, not related to anything the page is talking about or the page before, worse, it’s choice of graphics are scandalous and without much elaboration as mentioned just now. More appropriate photos or graphics to push their notion would probably be photos of the things in question: their exorbitant equipment, or show some graphs to support their point or smth. To be fair, their images of the new creation building and the congregation of faith community baptist church are relevant.

Reading forums, i am sad looking at how people can be these days. Firstly don’t bull about churches take all their sheep’s money. Yes they take my money, its something called tithes. All churches do that. in fact; everyone with a religion gives money to their place of worship. For centuries. Nothing new. What they use your money for is what’s changing only. If people are to bark, bark about what certain churches prioritize their funds for, not at the tithing procedure.

the point of the article is lost in the report halfway because i am made to feel disgusted by ‘the rise of the mega church’ from start to end. trying to make churches sound like freak shows without really giving some background at least to the way churches usually run all these while. They suggest numerous legitimate points but lost me eventually by the way they fail to really show an expert view of the church environment in Singapore. I am no expert but being a christian, there are things that are not new practices or really no big deal when you look at it objectively, yet is reported theatrically that would make any ignorant person gasp.

Christians NEED to pray that their God’s name won’t be tarnished by this report. People NEED to know that churches are not perfect establishments because they are run by imperfect human beings, that fyi includes the bible’s credibility too so don’t hold it against people for what people wrote. Other things like erm a god, theoretically and theologically, should be nothing less than perfect, anything decide for your own self. For christians this is no reason to abandon religion or lose all hope for churches. Like what the papers said, christians here are very blessed. there are indeed about 700 churches in Singapore. Choose wisely according to your own preference. (aka what the papers say derogatorily: church shop.)

When you are dying, you WILL wonder what will happen, whether you will just dissolve into nothing, or whether is there really is an afterlife. Confirm you had wondered how everything started long long ago, whether it was because of some big bang or who created god if god created us and all those irritating puzzles of life. Why even deep in the jungle, tribes somehow seem to have their own version of a god or two, why we are all destined to look up into the skies and question whether we are our own god or not. Science VS Religion become science proves religion then become religion is science (scientology).

Real or not, one thing is for certain: NOBODY KNOWS. Anything is possible.

Don’t be like my friend who is ignorant and thinks he’s so smart not even trying to find out. Be smart. Like me. Try. Explore and experiement by your own. Don’t listen to people is best cos they don’t know any better. Make a decision cos you know maths? Got one chapter called probability. Choose one god. If wrong… never mind. If you are right, you’re in heaven. :D

Alone

I think this is why I’m so different from everyone else. I was never born a people person. I have done everything Tanya Davis said in the video. Even going clubbing myself. I entirely believe in this poem because too many ppl in this world do not understand how amazing it is to spend days coming to a place that is within yourself. I dont know how to explain this because it’s something you discover by yourself. I dont want to explain too because i dont care whether anyone understands me at all. All I know is that I started spending long hours reflecting 4 years ago and I am not the same person I was after. Once you have learnt how to, the world is so distant and no longer bothers you anymore. And that is the best plateau to reside in for the rest of your life.

Poem by Tanya Davis:

If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were you, weren’t okay with it, then just wait.

You’ll find its fine to be alone, once you’re embracing it. We can start with the acceptable places: the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books, you’re not supposed to talk much anyway, so it’s safe there.

There’s also the gym; if you’re shy, you can hang out with yourself and mirrors, you can put headphones in.

And there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there’s prayer and mediation, no one will think less if you’re hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously avoided based on avoid being alone principles: the lunch counter, where you will be surrounded by “chow downers”, employees that only have an hour and their spouses work across town, and so they, like you, will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone. When you are comfortable with “eat lunch and run”, take yourself out for dinner; a restaurant with linen and silverware.

You’re no less intriguing a person when you’re eating solo desert and cleaning the whip cream from the dish with your finger. In fact, some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies, where it is dark and soothing, alone in your seat amidst fleeting community.

And then take yourself out dancing, to a club where no one knows you, stand on the outside of the floor until the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one’s watching, because they’re probably not. And, if they are, assume it is with best and human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after-all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you’re sweating and beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things, down your back, like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.

Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there are always statues to talk to, and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute, and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversation you get in by sitting alone on benches, might have never happened had you not been there by yourself.

Society is afraid of alone, though, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if after awhile no one is dating them.

But lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it. You could stand swathed by groups and mobs, or hold hands with your partner. Look both further and farther in the endless quest for company.

But no one’s in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept. Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself.

Perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high schools groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Because if you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

It’s okay if no one believes like you, all experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you, for this be relieved.

Keep things interesting, life’s magic things in reach. And it doesn’t mean you aren’t connected, the community’s not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it.

Take silence and respect it. If you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it.

If your family doesn’t get you or a religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it.

You could be in an instant surrounded, if you need it.

If your heart is bleeding, make the best of it.

There is heat in freezing, be a testament.