PDL

ok i shall declare myself Mr Horny.

!

rubbish. i shall declare my start of a 40 day purpose driven life!!! (all the christians reading clap for your fellow brother now) means, i will fast for my firstand subsequent alternate weeks off all meals except dinner. use the breakfast time for Rick Warren and prayer, lunch time for prayer and youtube assisted worship and finally night time bible reading and reflection....... through this blog!!! every night i shall round off my thoughts and stuff here. so this blog will finally have a daily post(yay my blog is revived once more) and  i hope after this 40 days... a miracle will happen. will melvin succeed with his plan? will the insanity of the world catch hold of him again and pull him away from this??? 

only 

time

will

tell...

silence; and there were these sounds...

sigh i havent been ranting about music these days ahh. well wordless music has really captured my heart these days. two songs in particular:

1. lost message by Air from the album Pocket Symphony
   
2. the winner is from Little Miss Sunshine OST
   

lost message is the press of piano keys that throw you into the memories of a simple couple, the song breaks into deeper droning synths that bring you into the touch and emotions they garner from each other and you simply stare on.
entrancing, captivating and sometimes eerie, you will just stare and stare and stare and find nothing out of the couple this song is about but your tender heartstrings will tingle and you would want to eat some yogurt after it ends.

the winner is breaks into a swirl and lifts you up with the violas. the earthen droning synths that line the whole song pulls you and grabs you. it brings you on a journey the movie sort of brought you through but in your =mind you create your own across the valleys and lush mountains and across everything.
you should hear even better, the lyrical version of the same tune entitled how it ends i can just cry hearing it.

been really distrated by my desire to travel  britain and all the little stints i have with media realted companies i am getting myself into somehow. but i really wanna get my mind to settle into the melancholy i get occasionally and finish up my emo stories. because i really wanna finish up mr and mrs jones and then my other story which i had established in my mind... 

just came up with this short chapter 4 days ago:

Snow White a chapter from my shortstory, Mr and Mrs Jones

“Snow white and the seven dwarfs.” He flipped open the leather cover book and moved his index finger down the water coloured illustrations. It had beautiful techni-coloured prints and patterns.

“It used to be my grandmothers.” She said as she took a sip from the coffee by the bedside. “I got to keep it after she left us.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago. It’s just, I used to tell her to read this when she tucked me into bed every night.”

He flipped through the pages of the book.

“I loved snow white. I used to think grandmother was telling me about herself when she read it to me because she looked so pure and so demure all the time. The way she read it to me, it was so spacey and so knowing…”

Silence.

“Till I learnt from my mom 5 years after she was gone that it was just her medication that she took and you know, it was an overdose of it that caused her demise.” She sighed and took the book from his hands and took a longing look at the girl on the page. “Snow white was so pure. I learnt that there can never ever be of a person as pure and white as snow as she.”

“Have you looked at yourself?”

“I’m not Snow White. I’m just… not.”

“You being snow white, you probably wouldn’t know that you indeed are the fairest of them all.”

“Then I never knew Snow white had such a deluded tortured soul.”

“…After I, the wicked witch tempted you with a poison apple...”

“No.”

She stood up.

“You’re my prince charming my dear. The prince who found me and woke me up from my deep deep sleep.”

-

Thank you Pamela.

I learnt for now
It’s your eyes that defines.
The greatest defense,
The greatest offense
to everything you are too afraid to face.
The character you’d be!
But you will be so lonely.

melvintage

me in bus 52 after a tiring day of photo-taking

hey anyone interested in taking photos please contact me. the next location i am planning to go shoot is Admiralty Road near the jetty. I really want to go on a weekend evening. Sooo... HendryPoh & Weilun my usual kaki might not be able to make it... Sadness but hey, anyone?

some thoughts after today

photo taken today. nice nice nice????

great more time to write my thoughts. been wanting to for a LONG time but too busy. 

dont be concerned, this is some thoughts from my diary i decided to upload to share. 

great insights today i feel. worth posting. try to find your own meaning to my prose. :D

critically appreciate this would be even better. enjoy

you know i'm so afraid of my mind. it is such a huge confusing chuck of perception/influencewants/ideas... looking forward, i cant see what the world can do to me to make my life anymore meaningful. 

god has given me so many reasons to give up, because being a seeker for meaning for so long, i find myslef delving deeper into my own mind. and my mind, either a genius or a complete lunatic is slowly destroying myself inside out.

i can begin writing things i will regret later(times that i feel good; that occasional emotion.) but i've always feel the happiest when i am the saddest.

the eyes of the devil(who exists if god does), although i didnt look straight at him in the eyes down there, i saw him. he was calling me(or just being there that was all he needed to do), putting lies in my mind. playing on the sheer silence that god still to me, was. 

of course i walked away from satan. he was barely persuasive (my mind's the culprit for edging me off the cliffs.)

i huddle in my selfish book now, trying to write the tears and fears of what life is to me now. i just wait for a better time. an emotional peak sometime, some lie to believe or some wisdom from the bible to hang on to.

god where are you? (You're not god. dont answer for him.)

i am super bored!!!!!!

A thinking daydreamer

he walked.
is this melancholic collection of music
and this not lonely but thinking walk going to cure my crisis i'm not specifically clear about myself?
well it's better than sitting at home because i am not in the real world.
at home it's not raining.
i am not watching that couple smoke.
and that guy playing basket ball.
i am not controlled by the surroundings that affect me
i am not displaced and afraid.
bottle of drink below my seat i wait for something to happen but nothing happens.
i sit on.
awaiting enlightenment.
but no.
the dim lights of the night do not preach.
an enlightenment next to God's. i want to think and achieve a pespective beyond what many would stop and fall upon.
i want to conquer new heights of understanding and knowledge more clear than yours.
i will tell you stories and tell you erports of my life and the world will listen because i will preach of a deeper meanig in life deeper than what we see it as now. i will find for you a world within this world where senselessness can be avoided and we can reach a nirvana from just pure thought. will you follow me and are you good enough?
i have yet to find someone worthy or interested to go on this journey with me.
he or she doesnt have to think.
mere presence and ignorance is enough.

I have never been more disappointed with myself than anyone else.
I’m more depressed More worried More addicted More insane
Finding my footing in establishment
I envy anyone else sometimes.
Worry for the people I interact with.
One day everyone will know
Because I am a time bomb ticking away.
Never meant to conform.
How I camouflage under trigger points.
The most glaring things affect me the least,
While the softest lightest effect devastates me into a chaotic fit.
you know how many young people just look at me and pass me by.
wait.
stop.
all these things is evident in my tired mind is because i dont have a loveer or a god.
if i start thinking, i will start saying things... but i wont go there.
i'm starting to see the beginning signs of a next depression.
so i stop.

Prayyyy...

that i will geddit.

ARGH... 

the nights i BURN and FAVOURS I use to compile this... 

some airflown from melborne some from busy corporate buisnesses... 

better be worth the efforts...

lol

melvin tan says:

 hows life after hoods?

`ting says:

 oh

 slack

melvin tan says:

 amazing right

`ting says:

 but still cant sleep well

melvin tan says:

 cannot get used to it right

`ting says:

 ok la

melvin tan says:

 lets start a company

`ting says:

 i still have sj stuff to do

 lol

 no moolah

melvin tan says:

 a production company

 with gua you and me

`ting says:

 haha

melvin tan says:

 you be slate

`ting says:

 LOL

melvin tan says:

 and logging

 then gua write script

`ting says:

 productions aint abt slating and logging ok!

melvin tan says:

 then i do props

 HAHA

`ting says:

 then who find sponsors

 who find locations

melvin tan says:

 we hire interns la

 duh

`ting says:

 lol

melvin tan says:

 then we make sure they suffer

 like how we did

`ting says:

 that's after we start earning money la duh