Only Her Teddybears Know(NC16) for minor sexual references and vulgarities
By Melvin Tan also known as frogboychickenrice
Dedicated to Benjamin Lim, Arthur Sim and Jo-jo Seph-seph
FORWARD
The story is simply about what goes on through the mind of someone. But deeper, it is a story about different people who are victims of circumstance. Key inspirations for this story includes Juno as well as Jodi in terms of writing in a ‘timeless’ style. Definitely more readable than the extreme ‘All You Bleed is Love’ or the next story which I am going to write called ‘Friends’. But definitely more mainstream but still retains my signature trademark of an ending that does not necessitate the need for happiness. For those who read the preview, do read the first few chapters again because I made amendments. This story shouldn’t have grammatical errors because I painstakingly edited it for once. Yay.
Enjoy.
Chapter 1
Pon pon.
Kevin looked up and then to his watch and then up again. It has been twenty minutes. He couldn’t believe it.
Pon Ponnn.
He honked the bicycle horn again with a little more impatience and redialled her number on his mobile phone again. Still no answer anyhow. He rubbed the rim of his bicycle handle restlessly. That was when from the top of her head could be seen scurrying to the elevator landing of the forth floor. Down below, he sighed and picked up his haversack from the floor and kicked the metal bar that propped his bicycle up and hopped into position. The elevator pinged and Wendy hurried out towards Kevin. She almost tripped on a curb to where he stood.
“I’m okay.” she said flipping her particularly unkempt hair which surprised Kevin a bit.
“I know you are. You are just late. Again!”
“Yes!” she said sternly, narrowing her eyes. “In fact, you could have gone without me I don’t need you to fetch me to school I have my legs.”
He looked at her in the eyes and gave her a look that made her shrivel up inside. She turned away.
“Lets go.”
Without even glancing at him, she climbed onto his bicycle, sat and held his waist with an arm reluctantly. He kicked off and began cycling standing up, across the estate towards the grey buildings that paved the way to Wendy’s school. Kevin was used to this journey. In fact he has been riding Wendy to her Secondary school since Sec 1. He would pick her up at 6.30am exactly from below her block and cycle her to her school. There, he would park his bicycle at the bicycle stands and take a straight bus to his secondary school which was further down. When school ends, Wendy would wait for Kevin to pick her and cycle her back to her home before he goes back to his own home.
They didn’t speak today. Tension was brooding and Kevin cycled faster than ever chasing time and venting his angst. Wendy gripped tightly, embedding her head in his black haversack in front of her, afraid to look up. Usually during the uphill part of the journey, Wendy would get down and they both would walk up the slope side by side together, for it was an easier task for Kevin. However today, they did not get off the bike. Kevin was bitter. He took hard strides on the pedals, moving them both up the hill. He really had no time to loose. They were both going to be late. Wendy heard and felt his every pant and strain. Her fingers were grasping onto his expanding and contracting torso. She felt heavy and evil. It was psychologically unbearable but she just sat there. She knew she could not stop him from exerting like that for he was in a rage. And she felt he was over-reacting.
A screeching halt marked the end of the journey and Wendy looked up. Her friends Jessica and Leanne were leaning on the gate giggling and catching a glimpse of Kevin. They were very young; barely fourteen. Never knew how jealous others were of their relationship. Leanne always swooned at how Kevin was Wendy’s knight in shining armour. Jessica couldn’t agree more. In fact she was very impressed Wendy could hook up with someone from another school. It meant she was cool. That day, Kevin had a sombre expression and said nothing as she hopped off the bicycle. The minute she got off, he pushed it to the side where a whole bunch of bicycles were parked and chained his there like always. Wendy disappeared with her girl friends without looking back at him. Kevin resided under the shelter of the bus bay to wait for his bus to fetch him to his school, sweat dripping from his temples.
Chapter 2
Afternoon
After school when birds begin to fight for their tree and people were all heading home, Kevin got down from the bus and walked towards Wendy’s secondary school. Students in white and blue were busily streaming out. He headed towards the bicycle fence where he parked his bicycle. It was where Wendy waited for him to cycle her back home. But that evening, the bicycle was gone and Wendy was not there. Kevin could not believe this. He kicked a can into the drain.
“That bitch!” He uttered through gritted teeth.
He couldn’t believe it. That evening he walked home the familiar tracks alone first time in 6 years. 2150 days they travelled home together. 52560 hours they looked up to meet and journey with each other and savour the 30 minutes worth of footprints and bike tracks have paved their path to and fro this very route. Kevin recalled the days when they were in the same primary school not too far from where he was now by the turn at the left. Then, Wendy too had a bicycle of her own. Like present, Kevin would wait for her at the ground level of her block like the present. He would horn his on the bicycle that was too big for him then. Wendy would always be waiting for him early outside her house at her home’s doorstep where she would hug her bag and peep down occasionally to see if he had arrived. Upon hearing his honking, she would yell “Coming!” and would drag her own green bicycle into the elevator down to meet him. They would take off and cut through the estate making as much noise with their ringers and horns as possible, passing those dusty grey buildings that were now gone and towards the path between the jungle and the road where they dodged low branches and ignorant joggers. At the part where there was the hill, Kevin remembered they would compete to reach the top. Of course he would always win. Then they would always rest at the bus stop at the peak where they often exchanged jokes and laughter. He remembered once, they played with the bus drivers. They pretended to want to board the bus when they saw a bus approaching and when the bus approaches, they both would bolt away as fast as they could, and hide behind a tree.
He remembered especially when it rained, he would meet her 30 minutes earlier, 6am when the night was really pitch dark. They would don their huge raincoats and push their bikes all the way to school. Kevin remembered the cold hard silver raindrops that shattered all over and made his eyes all fuzzy. He remembered swimming in the raincoats and seeing Wendy’s hair look like shimmering black icicles with a raindrop at the end. He recalled how they both would still end up late and all drenched anyway despite the raincoats.
Things got better when Wendy broke the ‘unfortunate’ news that she had to give her bicycle to her younger brother because he needed it more for he starts school at a school further than hers. Since then, Kevin shared his bicycle with her. She always sat on the seat as he peddled the bicycle standing up. He remembered he never complained and was always cheerful for she never tires him. Some days they would share an ice cream cone and she would hold it for him to lick and they did not turn the ice-cream. They licked on the same spot. For they were like that. They remembered listening to Simple Plan on his mp3 player. One earpiece in his, one earpiece in hers. They would croon louder than the song of the cicadas.
Whether it was feeding their breakfast to the fishes in the drain or chasing each other on their bikes, every moment was magic. Now Kevin was walking alone. The joggers dodged him now. He knew he had shouted at her this morning. He never did that ever before. And he knew she was scared by the way he rode the bike too. She felt her head on her back and her fingers gripping his torso. But he was still angry about her lateness these days. He felt she had to be responsible and reasonable to not cause them both to be late. However Kevin also noticed she didn’t look her usual these days too. Maybe she was stressed or sick. Whichever, he felt he should not be so cold to her like he was.
He stood outside her house, knocking on the door. He glanced at the corner where her old bicycle, now her brother’s sat there quietly. There was a clawing on the door and then the sound of the door unlatching. Wendy slid out and shut the door behind her. Her eyes were huge and her lips were a thin line.
“What are you doing here? I sent your bike home and you don’t have to fetch me every morning anymore didn’t you get my message? Now go. I don’t want to see your pissy face again.” She hissed a childish whisper.
“Wendy.”
“Go before my brother sees you!”
“Wendy.”
“I said go!”
“Wendy I want to send you to school tomorrow.” Kevin said, looking at his converse shoes.
“What. Why? You said it. That I’m late all the time now and-“
“But I forgive you.” Kevin looked up into her eyes and she melted at that moment, like she always did when he showed he cared.
“I-“ and yes she couldn’t attack him for she was all soft inside now.
“Alright. I’m sorry I haven’t been well. Things are bad.”
“You want to talk about it? I am glad to listen. I’m sure your brother wouldn’t mind.”
“My-” She didn’t move for a few seconds, and then peeked into the house. “He’s asleep. My parents are out working. Come in.”She widened the crack.
Mark took off his shoes and placed it behind a pile of flowerpots. He entered a dim and quiet home. Her little brother was sprawled on a mattress in the living room.
“Psst!” Wendy signalled his attention and pointed to her room. Kevin followed her in. It was a cosy room with just a study cabinet, a personnel computer, a bed and a cupboard. On the walls were her posters of bands she liked and thee was a pile of stuffed teddy bears on her bed. He placed his haversack on the cupboard and closed the door behind him.
“Lock it!” she whispered as she removed her head band to release her flowy hair.
Kevin pressed the button on the knob.
Wendy sat on her bed with dancing bears on the sheets. She pulled off her socks one by one and threw them into a corner of clothes to be washed.
“I’m so tired!” she yawned and stretched on the bed.
“You know Wendy I’ve been thinking as I walked to your house from your school.”
Wendy looked at him with curiosity.
“I really cherished the times we spent together, you know. Journeying together to and fro, rain or shine, you know.” He was embarrassed sharing as he stood there, he felt like he was giving a speech. But he noticed a smile growing on her face.
“I know Kev. I thought the same things coming back alone too. We should never stop this.” She said as if daydreaming. Then she shot a look back at him, “Well don’t stop! What else did you remember? go on!”
As Kevin stood there telling her of all the stories he remembered, laughing at all the silly times, they were in cahoots again.
“Come here.” She said.
Kevin crawled onto the bed and squeezed between her and her soft toys. His head brushed onto her elbow. She leaned her head onto his shoulder and it felt snug. Kevin couldn’t fathom what happened next but he knew it was a combination of their school uniforms, the dancing bears, the socks on the floor and their body contact. His head turned to hers and he kissed her on the cheek. That was when she moved her lips up to his and kissed back. Her hand seemed to have fallen between his thighs. His hand slid around her waist and her fingers fiddled open the buttons of his shirt. His head fell back in euphoria.
Soon the smallest teddy bear on the top of the pile of soft toys fell on to the floor next to Wendy’s skirt.
Chapter 3
2 days ago
Wednesday was ladies night. At 2am, the club was abuzz. Men and sensual ladies were seen thronging the landings outside smoking and talking. Stepping out of the car, one of her friends commented that she did look much older. She better did for she was the only one underage. Passing the other cars and a group of laughing middle aged men who looked like they just left work, she followed the 4 girls to a huge entrance where the queues snaked and the bass reverberated through the walls and vents.
“This is it.” Her friend pointed out to her.
It better be. She told herself. She arranged this with her netball seniors who were old enough. The night was hers and she was the queen. Everything went as planned and the 16 year old strutted into the club behind her friends.
The lights grew dimmer but more colourful. The music louder but it didn’t seem to matter anymore. There were so many people. Men. Women. Looking around, dancing and laughing. She noticed boys began to notice them. Boys began to notice her. She signalled the other girls to leave her.
“You sure you wanna stay here alone? Do you want one of us to stay with you?” One of them shouted under the blare and the strobe lights.
“No. I want to be alone please. Go have fun.”
The other girls shrugged and sashayed onto the dance floor as they left Wendy at the bar counter with an arm on her cheek.
Chapter 4
Present
Pon Pon.
Pon Ponnn.
Kevin couldn’t believe this.
Poooooooooooooooooooonnn.
Kevin dialled her mobile. And it rang but she did not pick it up. Kevin was not only fed up, he was hurt. She was late again.
Then, his mobile beeped and it was Wendy.
Kevin read the message.
‘I cant today. I’m sorry.’
Kevin reread the message many times and couldn’t comprehend. The night before marked the pinnacle of their relationship. It not only confirmed that they had moved to a level higher in their relationship, it also meant that despite setbacks, they could come together stronger than ever. Now that this had reoccurred again, Kevin was deeply disappointed and disconcerted.
As he rode his bicycle to school, alone again, he thought of nothing but her. He imagined her arms around his waist as they rode. He imagined leaning back on her as they let gravity do its thing down the hill. He imagined licking the ice cream she held out to him by her. But now every thought were memories null and void.
Chapter 5
That afternoon
When that marked the end of the school resounded, Kevin packed up his school bag and dashed out like a mad man. He stormed down the flights of stairs, striding seven steps at a time and eventually boarded his bus. Outside his school gate. Upon seeing the Mac Donalds at the cross junction, he began scouting for her. Groups of girls walking in batches of three and four here and there, laughing and talking. None of them was the Wendy he made memories with.
His tummy growled because he skipped his canteen break calling her cell phone countless times but each time, he only got her voice message. He now looked like an idiot standing at another schools’ bicycle stand alone. Students from the school threw him weird glances but his mind was clouded by Wendy’s nonsense. After what seemed and was hours, when all the bicycles have been collected, he concluded that she had not gone to school at all and he miserably set off himself alone again. Without her the bicycle was easier to pedal and it was dreadful.
He stood outside the door of her home once again and rapped at the door of Wendy’s home, hoping to see her again he knew he had to control unwanted emotions. Anger was definitely not what she would want. He wanted to appear supportive for she was going through some kind of phase she has yet disclosed to him. Soon it dawned upon him that maybe it was him that was her issue. Maybe it was something he did. It probably was the sex he thought. For it was bad on his side. Because of his nerves during his virginal experience, he didn’t come.
That was when door opened and a tall figure with a huge belly and a can of Barons in his hand stared back at him.
“What do you want?”
“Hi I’m Kevin. I am Wendy’s friend.”
“Where is that girl?”
“What?”
Where is she where is my daughter?” He said in a demanding tone. Kevin noted that he was slightly drunk.
“I’m sorry I don’t know either because she wasn’t in school today and I was wondering if she was still sick.”
“She is not sick. She is just a disobedient young girl who does not listen to her parents!”
“I’m sorry. Do you know why she has been behaving strangely lately?”
Her fathers face turned sour.
“Do I have to answer to you about my daughter’s discipline? Why must I answer to you? Who you think you are? Her father spat at the side of the doorway, “her boyfriend?” He snorted and slammed the door at him.
“I don’t know.” He mumbled under his breath.
Kevin turned and left lugging his bicycle beside him, tired, hungry and perplexed.
Chapter 6
Night
That night he laid on his bed arms wide open, staring at the ceiling where the trees and lampposts from the outside made shapes. His heart was aching because Wendy was no where to be found. One moment she was in his arms and the next she was gone. Kevin was starting to suspect that he was the cause for this. He was a horrible lover. He was incompetent. And that was on top of the fact that he was not patient with her when he was supposed to. Kevin knew he screwed up bad. He understood that their relationship had changed from friend to lover and during the transition period, every step and word was vulnerable to ruin. Now it was lover to stranger. The fact that she became like this him writhe and kick himself in bed. He pulled his hair sore and screamed in his pillow. Things happened too quickly and too wrong and he could not forgive himself.
Chapter 7
2 months later
It had been two months. Mark still held on firmly to chances. He would leave his school as early as possible in order to wait at the same place for her to return. But every time he did, he left the place alone. She was not returning for good. What was worse was the day he realised she had cancelled her line. Not even an assuring ring on her phone that was never picked up could warm his ear.
Kevin stood at the lamppost beside the bicycle stand that he had found comfortable to lean on during the long waits. He had picked up smoking because it made time past faster and easier. That had annoyed most of the bikers from the school because of the intoxicating fumes but it attracted Jessica’s attention. Jessica was the girl that had always been jealous of her best friend’s boy companion who whisks her off her feet and rides her home. That day, clutching her books and all, Wendy’s friend walked towards Kevin. Kevin saw Jessica and he vaguely recognised her as a friend of Wendy’s. Jessica on the other hand noticed that he was dishevelled and could not even return her a smile. That was when she concluded that his heart really was broken into a million pieces.
“Oh Kevin!” She said with furrowed eyebrows and concerned eyes.
He snubbed out the cigarette.
“You look horrible these days.”
He turned away from her small talk.
“Kevin.” She touched his wrist to garner back his attention. He was warm from standing in the blistering sun waiting for her at the least shadiest of places. “I thought I should tell you that she’s not coming.”
He lit another cigarette and placed it in his mouth. “I know.”
“Then why do you torture yourself by waiting for her here every single day after school?” she said with utmost pity for the poor soul.
Kevin was silent because he didn’t have the answer. Was this act of standing there waiting for nothing an act of chastisement towards himself? Or was he still clutching on hopelessly to hope? Or was he just following the same practice he had always done since he was very young? Maybe it was all of those.
“I got to go now.” He held his bicycle and prepared to ride away.
That was when he heard her say something that made his heart skip a beat.
“I know where she is.”
Mark stopped his advance and turned around to look at her. Jessica finally found the glimmer in his eyes again. The glimmer he always had when he looked at Wendy.
“You know where she is? “
“M-my house.” She said her mouth stuttering over whether to say it or not. “I’m not supposed to tell you this! She will so kill me for this.” She said sounding afraid but then she looked at him again. “But I believe she is already killing you.”
She was right.
“Every time I see you here. I really feel sorry for you. No one deserves being left like that at all.”
“So will you allow me to go see her? Please?”
He looked pathetic.
“Come on.” She said and he followed her.
A pathetic fool is what he called himself. He cannot even get over a girl. Cannot even forget about what’s gone. He hated his feelings. He felt weak as a person. He would then ask himself why he is so worked up about things that had past and could not conjure a rational answer. But when he recalled the times, it would be like falling back into the hole he crawled out of all over again. They were so great together. Well, at least that was what Kevin felt.
Chapter 8
That night at the club months ago
The club was pumping, mixing clashing flashes of neon lights and then darkness with every beat. Standing at the bar counter alone, Wendy caught the attention of Jason who was there enjoying the night with his army friends. He slipped away from the group and came over to her side. Wendy looked up and gave him a brief smile to him and she looked away.
“Here alone?” he shouted against the music.
“Yes!” she said, giving him a playful miserable pout.
“You want a drink?” he gave a hand sign that resembled a cup.
She nodded her head. “Please!” and he signalled for the bar tender.
“Any preference in particular?”
“Whatever! The strongest!”
He looked at Wendy with wide eyed surprise and ordered.
When the drinks arrived, in front of them lay 12 small cups.
“What are these?”
“Tequila shots!” he stood closer to her saying the words into her ears directly. “Take one with me.” He placed his hand on her waist and another took a cup from the table.
“Drink it down like this.” And he took a cup and downed it.
She took a cup and downed hers. It was something really strong and she pulled a sour look on her face. He laughed. “That’s the way!” He pulled her body even closer to his and now she could feel his breaths. But this did not feel awkward at all in this place. It was amazing how anything could happen under the strobe lights. Anything felt possible and easier too. It was his turn again and he downed two cups. She then attempted hers after his like a challenge. As she downed her 3rd cup, she felt a cold wet circle on her cheek and a lingering nose on her temple. He smelt her. She closed her eyes and tried to savor it.
“You smell good.”He said.
Many shots after, everything was astir and light. “You look stunning” he said for the hundredth time, picking up the penultimate cup from the table. She picked up the last and drank it with him after which she pulled his head to hers and brought things to the next level. They kissed against the music under the strobe lights. She had never really kissed anyone before. Not even Kevin. But it wasn’t very nice she thought. She felt nothing but went on with it anyway. It was not important.
“You want to dance?” he said, his face flushed apple red with alcohol.
“I got a better idea.” Wendy grabbed his hand that was on her bum and led him out of the club to the car park. There was a mysterious smile on her face. Almost detached. He drank more shots than her and Jason had difficulty walking straight. She pulled out the set of keys from her pocket and fiddled with it till it unlocked her friend’s car outside.
“Where are we going?” he asked her.
“Nowhere.” She said.
She opened the backseat door and lay on the seat. He got the idea and climbed in after her and began kissing her everywhere again but hands ran wilder and clothes began to come off. That was when she closed her eyes tightly shut and never opened it till the whole ordeal was over.
Chapter 9
Present
“Here we are.” Jessica said. They both stood outside the gate of her home. Jessica rang her doorbell. A moment later the door opened to a young girl with the long fringe that dances gracefully in the breeze and the smile that could stop Kevin's heart. Today the Wendy he knew looked different. She had a bump on her tummy. Kevin was taken aback.
“Wendy. I’m sorry.” Jessica tried to explain Kevin’s presence.
“Kevin.” Wendy said, shocked. He was not expected and Wendy shot a vicious look at Jessica. She was not aware of Kevin’s feelings and he was stung by that very act.
“I’m sorry but I could not stand watching him wait for you over and over.” Jessica asserted firmly. Although Jessica was Wendy's best friend, she was no push over towards her own feelings.
“Wendy you are pregnant.” Kevin said calmly, swallowing all his feelings for he knew better. He inched closer to the girl he once knew. He searched for her eyes but she could not look into his. “Wendy.” But still she could not face him. Kevin felt like a huge idiot.
“I’m not going to be involved with this anymore.” Jessica said and walked into her home and disappeared into a room, tired of the drama.
“It’s ours.” Wendy said after much silence on her side.
“Why didn’t you want to tell me earlier? Why disappear all these months? What’s going on with you?”
“I didn’t know! I didn’t know I was pregnant!” she sobbed.
“But why did you not tell me when you did? I always tell you everything. I don’t understand! “
She shook her head and burrowed her head in her hands. Everything was hard to digest for them. After all they were still 14 and 15.
“Wendy!” whined Kevin. A lump had formed in his throat.
He reached for her but she backed away from him. “Wendy! Don’t be like that! Please!” He felt guilt ridden. It was something he did to her. He realized it wasn’t because the sex was bad. It was something worse. It was irresponsible sex. He didn’t think at all of wearing a condom. Somehow what he did he felt was unforgivable. He realized he should not have went with his emotions that afternoon alone with her in her room. “I’m sorry!”
“No.” she shook her head. “Don’t be. Just leave.”
Every word was like daggers into his heart. It meant he wasn’t wanted. It meant he was unpardonable. That he was nothing. That all his feelings he had always felt was not mutual.
Right there at the door, he remembered when they were 8 when he was going home with his mother from the temple carrying joss sticks and cooking oil. They passed by Wendy and her mother. At that instant, he waved at Wendy and she waved back at him enthusiastically. That was when Kevin’s mother smacked his hand and scolded him.
“How many times must I tell you don’t talk to that Wendy girl already? Aunty Fong says her family is cursed. Her mother is crazy. Her father is jobless and always drinking. I will not allow a relationship between you and her. You understand?” his mother reprimanded her with gritted teeth.
He remembered ignoring his mother and continued staring at Wendy till she and her mother disappeared into the temple.
At present, Kevin looked at pregnant Wendy the same way till the door slammed shut in his face.
Chapter 10
Days later
It was a cold evening in the coffee shop below Jessica’s’ flat as rain was pouring outside. Wendy stared at the blood-red table. One hand holding the translucent handle of her cup of not coffee but milo and the other hand on her swollen stomach that was getting very heavy. There was this comforting idea she had about the rain which helped her drown many things that mattered. Jason was wearing his number four army uniform for he had just booked out to settle things once and for all with his fling, Wendy. Jessica sat across the table from them. He was talking intensively towards Wendy and Jessica was answering him for her with the snidest contempt in support for her troubled friend.
“I told you for the thousandth time, I wore a condom that night when we did it in the car. So the baby is not mine.”
“Condoms are 99 percent safe. It was not your lucky day Mr One Percent. Live with it Jason.” Jessica retorted, sipping her cup.
“I don’t believe this!” he said, adjusting his sleeve. “I know how to wear a freaking condom. I’m experienced for gods’ sake.” He said with a firm assertion.
“Sucks to you then.” Jessica said listlessly.
“This is crazy.”
“Don’t worry you don’t have to bother about the baby. I will give it away to a couple who wants it.” Wendy finally said.
“It is still not my baby I tell you! I said I want a private paternity test.”
“No.” Wendy quickly said.
“Why?” Jason shifted closer, “Because it’s not mine?”
“It is ours!” Wendy began to tear again.
“You are being unreasonable.” Do you know what will happen if I sign as the legitimate father? Shit will come! I will be prosecuted for having a fuck with minor. I will be charged because I am in the army. And what will my parents and my girlfriend say?”
“You have a girlfriend?” Jessica snorted.
“Please Jason. I will tell the police not to press charges and that it was I who initiated it. And that you didn’t know that I was underage.”
“I will not recognize that the baby that you have down there is mine because I wore a freaking condom. And and who the fuck are you?” he suddenly diverted his attention on something else. “and why the fuck are you staring at us?” Jason raised his voice at someone behind them.
Wendy looked up and saw a boy standing behind them in his school uniform. He was drenched to the bone probably from walking in the rain. His eyes were sore red and tearing behind the rainwater.
Wendy’s heart stopped.
“Kevin.”
Chapter 11
A year ago.
Kevin was as drenched as he was that day. But so was Wendy. They were smiling and were happy. The sky was still dark for a morning and the storm was like a veil around the two of them at the bus bay on top of the hill they had rode up with their bicycle. The bicycle was leaning on the big green dustbin. They were both already late for school and they had decided to linger a bit longer for blaming their lateness on the rain was a valid excuse. Their legs dangled from the seat on the bus bay and the rain continued to crash down wildly.
Kevin loved the thunderstorms. When the lightning flashes, Wendy would shriek and hide behind Kevin’s’ soaked sleeve. He would then cup her other ear tightly with his hand and the thunder would be less intimidating to Wendy. It was the closest he could get to Wendy and he always felt like a hero. Like her protector over her fears and travesties. That day, after covering her ears from the thunder, Kevin swept his fingers across her long fringe behind her ear neatly.
“I hate the thunder.” Wendy remarked. “But the rain is great.” She said looking blankly at the rain, “allows us to spend time together. Away from everything else.”
Kevin placed his arm around her shoulder and there was this magical moment where they both said nothing at all and simply stared at the rain together.
There was a sudden flash of lightning and Wendy buried her head in his neck closer than usual and it felt snug. After the thunder resounded, she did not withdraw herself from the position. Kevin leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
“Love. You.” He said soft enough for himself to hear only.
Chapter 12
Present, at the coffeeshop
Mark stood there with the most broken of eyes. His hair was unkempt and one side of his bag strap has fallen off his shoulder. He didnt expect to hear this. He was back to discuss things rationally but someone seemed to have beat him to it. What he overheard Wendy and that army person was talking about betrayed everything she told him the other day. His eyes that always held the softest of emotions whenever Wendy looked into it now held a chiaroscuro of sorrow, disappointment and disbelief.
“Kevin.” She called out but was unable to explain herself.
“You told me,” he swallowed some saliva, “that, the baby was ours.”
“What the fuck,” Jason exclaimed, “Wendy you’re such a slut. He said it is his baby so it is. I’m not going to take in any more of this nonsense. I’m out of here.” The rain had already stopped and Jason took his bag and walked off from the coffee shop and was never seen or heard again.
There was a cold silence between Kevin and Wendy now. He couldn’t talk because he could not put into words how he felt. Wendy could not express how horrible she felt.
People around the coffee shop were beginning to stare for the past few heated exchanges which were not very discreet. Jessica suggested that everything they had to clarify and discuss should be held in a less public area and suggested the rooftop of her flat. Because her parents were at home.
Upon reaching the rooftop that was still wet from the rain, Wendy told Jessica to leave them to square things off by themselves and so Jessica left them.
There was an undercurrent of tension between the two who stood there coldy.
“So you sleep around!”, Kevin said accusingly and heartbroken.
“I don’t!”
“Why should I trust you now after all these shit you put me through? Not answering my calls, leaving me waiting for you every single fucking day!“ Mark said as tears flowed freely down his cheeks. “I thought we were close. I thought we were more than friends! I was so stupid and wrong!”
Wendy began to tear again.
“Kevin!”
“Don’t ‘Kevin’ me!” he said angrily. He was sick of it. Sick that all she could say was his name. Sick that she betrayed every feeling that he felt were growing between them.
She sobbed louder than ever, “I never wanted you to be involved in this!”
“But you said the baby is supposedly ours so I am involved!”
“I didn’t want to tell you because the baby will ruin everything.”
“Not telling me had ruined everything Wendy.”
“I wanted to disappear and give our baby away and resume life normally again.”
“I know the baby isn’t ours anyway.”
“It is ours!” Wendy sobbed.
“I know it isn’t my baby.” Kevin said. “Because during that afternoon when we made out, I was nervous and I didn’t produce any semen at all so I know it isn’t mine.”
“I need you to stop denying.” Wendy sobbed.
“But it doesn’t make sense Wendy.”
“Stop denying it because I really love you and” she paused for emotions were too much for her to bear and she wiped the mucus that was dripping from her nose, “I want you to like me!”
Although she didn’t make sense, there was truth in her voice then and that was when Kevin realized she had loved him back all this while. He softened and turned aside to cry himself.
“I love you Wendy! I loved you since day one!” He shamelessly declared as he moved towards her and held her. But then his hands fell to his sides once more and said, “But now, I don’t know if I still do because I have learnt that everything isn’t what it always seemed to be.” Tears flowed again. “I used to love you soo much!”
Used to. Those words were the most painful words Wendy had ever heard. “Please!” She began to bawl as Kevin sullenly took his bag on the side and left the rooftop of the building. Leaving her crying by herself there.
Chapter 13
Present, outside Jessica’s house.
There was a knock on Jessica’s house door. Jessica opened the door and saw only Kevin. His eyes now wore a detached look, as if his heart was violently ripped out by something horrible.
“Kevin. Is everything settled? Where is Wendy?”
“She’s still on the rooftop. I left her crying there. She was someone I no longer knew.” Mark said looking at the side. “When she comes back, tell her that my bicycle, she can have it. I don’t need it anymore. After all, the bicycle’s sole purpose was her.” Kevin took out a cigarette and tried to light it but his fingers were shivering violently. “I’m such a stupid boy am I not?” he said with a cigarette stick in his mouth.
Jessica looked at him in pity. He was the biggest victim of everything that happened. That was when Jessica took his hands in hers.
“Kevin you poor thing.” Jessica said, “You are such an amazing loving person. You do not deserve this at all.”
Kevin laughed cynically against his tears, turned and left.
That was when Jessica unveiled something he was supposed to know again.
“Kevin. She wanted to forget.”
Kevin stopped and turned back at Jessica.
“Forget what?”
“She wanted to forget what her father did to her. I spoke to her many times about telling the police about it but she didn’t want her father arrested for she had a little brother.”
Kevin was stunned at the revelation. All these while he never considered Wendy being a victim of a rape.
“She didn’t want to tell you about it because she knew you would either tell the police or kill him if you were angry enough.”
She was right.
“Wendy wanted to forget about the issue but when she realized she got pregnant by her own father, she decided to go out with this guy you saw at the coffee shop that she met at a club. They had sex and that way hoped she could make herself think the baby was someone else’s other than her fathers as it would be a fact easier on everyone and herself to swallow. “
“But things went horribly wrong partly because I couldn’t stand the way you tortured yourself waiting for her. Also Jason was not stupid enough and resisted the suggestion that the baby was his. And it so happened you and Wendy made love in which I swear was not because she wanted to use you like how she used Jason but she made love to you solely because she felt it was the right time in your relationship with her that things could be brought to the next level.”
Kevin kept listening and forgot about his cigarette.
“You know, she told me although it was your first time, that afternoon when both of you made love, it was the greatest day of her life and she made me so jealous. But you were the only option left to save herself from the grief her father bestowed upon her. That was what I felt was a selfish thing to do. She was hoping if Jason wouldn’t, you would sign as the father of her child, give the baby away and resume things that were. But again things do not go as planned and so we have what we have today.” Jessica said, shaking her head at the horrible way things have turned out. “I’m really sorry Kevin.”
“Jessica I have to go.” Kevin said to her and he bolted to meet the misunderstood girl he left crying on the rooftop.
Chapter 14
He opened the door that led to the open aired space of the roof. The sky was darkening for the afternoon was becoming evening. Puddles of rainwater still resided all around like fallen tears of the sky after an emotional storm. Kevin realized she was no longer standing where she was where he left her.
“Wendy!” he shouted but there was no reply. "Wendy!" Could she have left already? But at a turn behind the electricity generator, he saw a pregnant figure standing at the edge of the roof, planning to jump off. Her feet edging at the crust of the ledge.
“Wendy! Wendy! Get down from there!” he remembered clambering towards her and pulling her arm causing her to fall back upon him on the floor of the rooftop.
Kevin touched her face and swept her hair once more of the love of his life. Her eyes had been crying her skin pale from stress.
“ I will sign the papers. I will be its father!” He whispered in her ear.
She looked up at him with a sad smile. “Why?”
“Because I know!” he said, helping Wendy up to her feet. “I know about what your father did to you.”
Jessica appeared from the stairway and stood at the background.
That was when Wendy realized that Jessica told him everything. Wendy looked like she froze over. “No!” she screamed.
Wendy writhed out of his grasp and backed away from him once more. “Wendy!”
“My father did nothing nothing at all!” She said staring blankly.
“Wendy please. I love you!”
“My father did nothing at all.” She repeated and climbed onto the edge of the roof again.
Jessica covered her mouth and screamed.
“No!” Kevin shouted and lunged forth to catch her but he was too late and she fell all the way down.
Kevin remembered himself screaming and screaming and could roughly recall flashes where Jessica pulled him back from falling with after Wendy and Jessica hugging him tight saying “let it be” and "its okay”.
Time. How we chase it and never catch it on time. Humans are stupid things. We let knowing and not knowing play a morose game with our hearts sometimes. Kevin’s heart bled freely as Jessica’s blood flowed freely on the ground floor where people had begun to gather from the sound.
Time moves on and beyond as well. Kevin just laid in Jessica’s arms for the next few hours. Then he was transferred to the police’s arms. The nurses'. Then his mother’s arms soon after. Throughout, he still wore the same look of having his heart ripped out violently by someone.
The End.
