photo booth

Buzzat

I am lightning lad.
A sad character without much inportance or significance in the leage particularly when superman took centrestage as leader. this dethrones his leadership. this adds to his past being a 2nd grade superhero to his more powerful elder brother Lightning Lord (a villain) who is more electric loaded as compared to him. At times he bursts into philosophical outcries to the blank universe. Falls between the decision of good and evil and his background gives him an angsty edge.

A website states:

A brash, aggressive hotshot who wields spectacular lightning powers, Lightning Lad is a handsome, hotheaded jock with a serious sense of entitlement who turns out to be much more sensitive than his brash, aggressive behavior might suggest.

Good-natured, fun-loving and loyal at heart, Lightning Lad is nonetheless quick to anger. A brilliant hand-to-hand combatant and an extreme action junkie, he is an accomplished (if occasionally reckless) pilot and loves a good fight.

As a founding member of the Legion and its field leader, Lightning Lad is used to being the most powerful and experienced Legionnaire and to calling the shots.
So when Superman joins the team, Lightning Lad is a little threatened. Pushed out of the spotlight, he can become a little jealous of the attention Superman receives from the other Legionnaires (especially Saturn Girl and Phantom Girl).

Lightning Lad's bioelectrical powers are most commonly used to shock and stun his opponents, short-circuit electrical equipment, split asteroids and boulders, destroy spaceships, burn objects or shatter walls. He can also recharge batteries and generators, and weld metals and ores like lead or Kryptonite.

Although seemingly self-generated, Lightning Lad's powers are inextricably linked to his energy and his will. If tired, sick or even depressed, Lightning Lad can barely muster an electrical charge, let alone manifest lightning bolts. His powers can also be reflected back on him, effectively shorting him out, and are essentially useless underwater.

Watch Legion of Superheroes on Kids Central every Saturday 11.30am. Cheers.

what what what

Somedays i look back and i laugh at myself.
how stupid i am to think some stuff to be all touchy about retarded things.
I'm such a stupid stupid boy.
so petty and loserish.
but I'm happy I'm happy now.
because life's getting better.
i just needed a release or a distraction or a goal.
thank GOD i guess.

sometimes

If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor.

Sometime ago:
Under the strobelights on different times, photos i chose to put up are very deceiving.
Dancing with random pretty girls was Very fun.
You don’t see much in the dark but somehow till now their eyes and smile still glimmer in your sub-conscience. Many guys can relate to this.
And their gyrations do hypnotise you at times.
Mainstream music to dance to was really fun although house music is my preference.
But we almost died when Gimme More was played.

A team mate was happy being a girl substitute.

fashion fast forward

Dr Martens is poseur (skinheads ma) but i am digging it.
What do YOU think?

F

I AM GOING TO DIE I DIDNT FOLLOW MY ARMY MATES AND THEY SAW AND TOOK PHOTOS WITH FELICIA CHIN AT NGEEANN POLY. I CANNOT FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT FOLLOWING THEM. I FEEL SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SO SUAY. WHY MUST THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME. and the only way i can be beside her now is through photo shop.

my hearts medley for now

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come…

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapour in the wind.

Open the eyes of my heart Lord,
Open the eyes of my heart,
I want to see You. I want to see You.

Lord I come to You
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace
That I found in You.
And Lord I've come to know
The weaknesses I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love.

For better is one day in Your courts
Than a thousand elsewhere.

Crucified
Laid behind the stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all.

Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am,
Empty handed but alive in Your hands.

So hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side.

Come live in me
All my life
Take over
Come breathe in me
I will rise
On eagle's wings.

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCC
i sumble at my self
i fel lkke dying and i have no id ea why i am feling so dead am i menT TO DRONE ON LIKE THIS WITH SO LITTLETHOUGHT IN MY MIND LIKE A DRUNKARD WITH NO FUCKING MORAL CONACENCE..... i fell so badly i cant even get upand see the light of day and i just need to recover from some really horrible sickenss detah is skvbvhzkjzkchzdhjhcshdczshdjhdjhckjhsjckhzjcnbj! i need to breathe fresh air fucking air of life and love and god i need hod. i need god so much. fuck life and everythigns with it sdvnjknvkjlsanvlksnv;lkvdsfbvsffsd!!!!!!!!!itting by the windowsill waiting for my arrivl and for me to fking knock on the window and jump. wait i shall see where fking life takes me to. wait..

tomorrow a brand new day. happy. joy. totter. hops.

Intervention

Scott Walker Joanna
Andy Williams Music To Watch Girls By
Bobby Darin Beyond The Sea
Mel Torme Blue Moon

Remember having a good talk by a quiet serene place or over a lavish meal, Gulping down 4 bottles of Heineken at timbre with Celestine. Sneaking into movie theatres, doing rounds in town, Getting drunk on duty. Rushing for sashimi at buffets. Parents bringing me out. Eating fries and sipping mocha in Café del Mar. Laughing till we have tummy aches… they burst into flames for that moment and they disintegrate as ash into crummy cracks and nooks and disappear for good and memory.

With the Lord in you, one can have great things. Somehow, great things will happen and somehow the joy will come from it. It would either already be there all the while and would suddenly dawn upon you OR it could be something that pops up and you would claim it by God’s name. It could also be a joy you made up that still transcends as joy. God fills all cracks with a wisp of joy of things material and intrinsic in reality making the uprising a spiritual one and everyone celebrates this instance of it. And He provides in ways I don’t even believe but just be jealous of when people jump and embrace this instance. I realised it is the mentality towards the possibilities of God’s divine intervention. The degree of His deeds in our lives depends on how we look at things. I could be the happiest boy in the world if I celebrate God’s gift to me of talent and creativity, unexplainable wit and explosive joys and other random on the spot realisations of my goods in me which I know is many more. But joy is meant to be celebrated and declared and submitted to God. What’s left for you to settle at the end of your day is how to be better, how to grow and you ask yourself why are you so fucked up at times and why are you so upset at abc and unsatisfied with 123. joy is a fleeting moment. God can extend it well and long but this is healthier I believe and the truth in this happy time foundates a possible stance to believe in God. For he could be what I am seeking for and what I really need in my life. I need to appreciate more joys than harbouring on rubbish. Happiness is small happiness is big. It can be nothing made into something. How am I going to be satisfied and happy with things? Would the joy of the Lord and his overcastting presence fill all issues and doubts about self worth and other saddening things of life’s meaninglessness? Is this really what God will give if I believe in him neglecting all science and rationality?

collage #1332

click to enlarge.

CHO: This is so profound. It parts of it creep me out like nothing before. Sometimes i know exactly what you mean. Sometimes i have an idea of what it could mean, and can't put my finger on it, which scares me somehow. I am in total awe of this.

frog: the collages i do only come when i'm depressed. some things i present hurts me alot.

nana naa naa,
nana naa naaa.

yeah.
you are the music in meeeee...

(malcom loves this.)

unimpressed

At my lowest points, I seek things like addictives to soften life’s harsh reality. I realised when you believe in God, you automatically see no need for such relievers you attain a greater joy within you. You pray to God and you achieve hope. You gain confidence to do things, as you know things are in God’s hands. At my lowest points, when things happen to me I accept everything with a ‘fuck what’s new?’ attitude that can lead to depression and esteem issues. It makes life a blur too. You will then tend to brag uncontrollably to attain people’s attention and respect but in the end just making a big fool of yourself. You also tend to deny bad traits about yourself that no it cant be and that I’m right. All the time. This is stubbornness due to my inability to perceive my imperfections. These days. I just sit there silent at times. Accepting it slowly. Giving my heart excuses to ease the self-disappointment. I pray to god for understanding and a warm wing. I then sleep and fantasize a better greater life somewhere else in my mind and get an emotional high.
As easily influenced as I am, I am once again not doubting and happy reading a Christian book which although I doubt it’s balanced approach and great cover-ups of loopholes, I feel that there is still some hope in a God. Somehow, God could exist in the 99% of information I am yet to know. But I still doubt certain things and still ponder why did God leave people to argue for His truth and existence. It’s like in this sea of doubt these Christian writers are struggling to give God excuses for every part he did not secure an answer with. But now with whatever ignorance and naivety I have stored in me, I Believe.
I also seem to have drifted in life with an idea that I am perfect. And I thought that I knew everything and I am right. I know it’s very ego. And I hate myself when I reflect everyday. But I wonder where all these come from when every day I fear for acceptance, attention and happiness. I thus conclude that if I can accept me for me, I would need not have to humble myself for I would not try and be pompous to show everyone I’m good for I should not worry about what others think.
In fact I am firstly a bad omen plus I am very careless. And dreaming half my life where things happen before I react. It’s a bad habit naturally very hard to kick but I blame my dreamy state on my personality. But I am over sensitive at the same time. Another ironic personality thing. I HATE being sensitive. HATE it. I have always wanted to be a cindy where things happen and I do not observe it in apolitical grudging sense. But I cant. This I believe can be resolved with more practise. Ignorance is super bliss I tell you. I also bring bad luck and if I am superstitious, I might even seek a sensei to extract the demon possessing me and causing so much unexpected and unplanned issues. I need to submit to the fact. I have no idea why. Maybe its butter fingers or that I am a himbo. But whatever it is I hope it does not ruin my life more than it had in my past 19 years of my life.
I also used to believe I am really good. That I can be radical and I have such ability to change things and do things. But now I realised I am very very very small. I am insignificant and I need to humble myself. I am close to nothing when I am only thinking and wanting. I am something when I do. I loose nothing if I give a bit extra and other people deserve more than myself. I learn to give and seek no return. I learn to be used and use nothing back. I learn to run an extra mile but not run anywhere for myself. Success is someone else’s and I can earn no success and die happy. I am not that special.
Death is not literal wheni say I want to die. I romanticise with death once in a while for I love the nature and the hovering suspension of death on reality. No where to go and nothing to worry. No change and motionless. Thoughtless and free. Painless and releasing. Death is a great feeling but I do not want to die. Spot the difference.
There. All these and more, I am close to a useless twig. I now need to find what I really am. I’m glad I can draw quite well. I have guilty pleasures in life and some amazing friends. I could have a God too but he has to give me time to find Him wedged somewhere in a cranium of my brain. Future plans are not there. I don’t know where I’d go after ns, what I’ll do after that and what I’ll be but putting things into persepective, after things fall into place as life’s puzzle pieces find their matching joints, I am a yellow brick closer to the castle of answers and wonders.

songs

Fallen in love with
Hard-Fi
Suburban Knights and
Simian Mobile Disco
I Believe

"he pointed at the pidgeon
and we laughed at it."

Some images i get when i look at my closet. The season for me is vintage preppy dull understated short slim and neat.

worship

Euro trash and soul music are the greatest worship songs.
They lift you up and releases inner most stubborn emotions.
Try worshipping God with it. It works better than just a band.

the night God died

A rough storyline about a boy named Kevin and his revelation.
Written by Melvin Tan Ming En aka me

This was the night God died.
Kevin prayed to the Lord one fucking day of utter hopelessness. Lying in bed he pleaded to God that when he wakes up the very next day, God would be less questionable than He was today.
Suddenly two huge figures appeared in front of Kevin. They were huge but beautiful and captivating in form and impression. Kevin looked up in shock then awe.
“Who are you? What do you want from me!” shouted Kevin at the two figures.
The taller one said “We are Dstykms and we came from 5 layers on top of this space we are standing on, from another dimension. We need to terminate your ignorance immediately so we will tell you everything. You are an anomaly but precisely the result we are trying to get in our experiment ‘Earth’ for the past twenty nine million years. You saw through our schemes. We need to take you back alive for somehow our strategies implemented in your realm, has failed to work well enough for us to implement it in our realm. We cannot risk having to have our kind seeing through our plans let alone a sapien. We need to study your consciousness and dissect your thinking process that led to your mental illumination you have at the moment.”
The shorter alien nodded in agreement.
Kevin said, “You are aliens from another planet and appeared in my room. I must be dreaming. Please leave me alone. I am not special. I am just a confused young man living a life of normality. Please leave me alone!”
“No and you are wrong Kevin.” The shorter alien said. “You are not confused for in fact your thinkings had far surpassed everyone else’s.” You did not fall for our concept of religion and other superfluous knick-knacks of the world people are organically programmed to desire in this world. You are imperfect still, but just much more eccentric in comparison with your other human counterparts. You see things differently Kevin and sometimes I believe it is not by choice but of something special. We need to find an antidote for your eccentricism that led to such high levels of mental sophistication.”
Kevin looked on. He felt like the back of his torso has been ripped apart of an inner burden of self-esteem problems have been tortured with, that violently contrasts the worlds’. Little did Kevin know that he was the one person in the world who was right. Now that he knew, he was relieved. Still Kevin had many questions. “So you created us humans and the world as an experiment to test something in hopes of applying it in your world and making your world a better place? But how is my world possible for it to be even a positive experiment in the first place? It’s the most evil deceiving meaningless place to ever exist. What ever your strategies are, they are definitely not working.”
The short one said as it stared out of the window, “We Dstykms are a race of destruction where organic freewill like yours has been taken advantage of considering our superior evolutionary blessings of abilities that are close to omnipotence as compared to yours. Sadly we are very muddled a society where everyone effectively lives for themselves for trust is no longer practical; love is officially dead and nothing good prevails. Our society is getting out of hand Kevin. We need solutions to resolve this disorder for progress of time is merely making problems harder to resolve. Things have to be resolved. So if you say your world was evil and deceiving, you made a huge overstatement universally.”
“Kevin. Homo sapiens are a primitive race far inferior to ours is correct to say. You non-multiflaxed, non-mundingulous semitesticular lesser beings were created to have a fraction of our aptitude. This possibly because you were created from organic chemicals recycled from our wastelands.” The tall alien chuckled in apathy. “We granted you humans a limited understanding of the world you live in for we thought maybe knowing less and innocence could resolve problems but from what we observe, evil even exploits this into its advantage.” The tall beautiful form towering over Kevin’s bed said in a serious tone.
“Yes. And other conditions we created are namingly, giving no direct powers other than a mind just to prevent massacres by many folds, the handicap of bodily weakness, quick digestion and tire to shorten possible rage, a depleting environment to dampen speedy progress but still have accessible livestock and vegetation for basic survival. Lastly and most importantly would be the concept of God to cover all meaninglessness and loopholes to hold all ceteris paribus in place. With that set in plae and a very primary landscape designed to prance around, we commenced the experiment with no catalyst or direct intervention that could cause inaccuracy in our experiment.”
“The bible was his brain child by the way. And also for your information, sex was given to you beings to indulge in. it is a substitute activity with similar characteristics to our habit called Hoggalog. Ahhh Hoggalog. A weakness in our race that could cause our downfall when excessively indulged in. Explaining this habit to you would be like you trying to explain to us why you people enjoy rhythmic sound waves called ‘music’. yeesh. Hoggalog is addictive and destructive. Hopefully the given conditions mentioned could curb excessive sexual desires and subsequently curb ours too.”
Kevin sat there in awe. All the time he knew humans were barking up the wrong tree and that there is method in his madness. His emptiness was real for life really was an empty concept meant to test concepts. He felt that humans need not question anymore or search for answers for we are not organically programmed to know so. We should also not grasp onto a hope of an eternal purpose to rest one’s soul for it is merely a loosely put together concept to cover up our origins. Kevin stood up from his bed, took the lamp beside his bed. The two aliens looked at him with a puzzled composure. Kevin lifted the electrical appliance above his head and violently swing it across the floor boards and upon the two aliens. The aliens shrieked and burst into flames leaving a small pile of ashes.
Aliens never haunted Kevin again.

been busy drawing and steering boats.
i am undergoing a period of spiritual death.
pray if you want.