



Film making is honestly damn hard. i have been getting multiple setbacks and doubts. like, i cant do this... i cant do that... things cannot accommodate to what's planned... things cannot work out like how you see it... but every time i get them i know these are basic hurdles of a filmmaker and if i give up now, i loose every dream confidence and hope i have in myself let alone other's. its a rather ambitious project and many although creative inside would shun away from it, looking at the amount of time and effort you put into it knowing that at the end of the fucking day it might not even work out in the end esp when the 'nots' overpowers the 'is'. this is a risk not many are willing to throw themselves in because look at this fucking idea! gathering different people here and there, asking them to act in scenes that are not them and writing a song, making people to come together,gathering the supposedly little props, making people to listen, making people to do the way you see it in your mind, i might be the only one who believes in it. but when there is a strong will there will be the narrowest way. at the end of the day i know i will show one and all out there a really good film.
all these on top of the fact i have to design things for some random children's church camp, suddenly some Rhema conference thing then now by tonight, t-shirt design for my unit. why am i still going on with damiens monologue? why am i still going on with damien's monologue? i dont know. maybe there just meant to be damien's monologue.
i get my tempo and positive attitude back when i go into youtube and see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHX3nbFOuHk&feature=user or some other short film that managed to materialize.
and of course endless support from my friends.
***am thinking of asking for the $1000 SFC grant. will be filling in the proposal asap. so that i can pay all who are involved.
here is a rough UNCONFIRMED schedule of filming. hope you guys understand this. (BELOW)

more on the bright side i have gotten some relatively good news.
rayner's band, although i have not heard them but i have heard they are rather good has shown interest in playing the yet to be composed song, 'serene'.
veron's friend's friend seem to have good experience and am thinking of tapping into his experience. (hawhaw)
so far here are stuff i have learnt and compiled. these are important things to note to kaywee.
- you don't have a schedule to film. you suit other people's schedule.
- people to genuinely believe in the possibility of your script (in order to get them involved)
- finalizing your script.(actually calling it final aka no more new ideas!)
- rejection
- POWER as in starting power. (Like when should i do it? NOW. NOW? NOW!)
- POWER as in the ability to actually do something (like use a place, use a person etc.)
Now what's the little things preventing the film to move on:
- lack of mac. but i think a lappie will do. make do.
- props. photos of 'serene'.
- the song 'serene'. where to record? church? rayner's band will know? buy my own microphone attached to computer and make them sing into it? might all work.
- the starting power.
- not very important: the use of a school to film start of film which is optional for the film but to good effect. i believe after all the filmings i will ask a school with the film in my hand and SFC's public place usage proposal form. when they are happy with what i'm doing, i will surely get the green light i guess.
actually thats all! wow!
UP AND ON!