love today

Clark Quay, Singapore

apple sandwich

been writing a long short story these days, hence busy. its not even half done and i realised writing a story book is crazy.
whatever it is, as you can see i have been romancing with my dad's SLR... been taking people and places. joy.
i have bought Kylie minogue's latest album and Dannii minogue's as well. i bought another clubbing cd called fabulous 2008 by powerhouse because it has a great rihanna please dont stop the music remix. haha. i am such a sucker for euro trash but please people, eurotrash is the next big thing. observe the trend: madonna's disco album-black eyed peas is famous-gwen stefani introduces euro beats-pussycatdolls is popular-justin timberlake brings sexyback-nelly furtado is loose-robyn is popular-chemical brothers releases-timbaland goes bezerk-50 cent tags along-shayne ward-kanye west uses daft punk-zoukout 2007-rihanna's umbrella cannot stop the music-gimme more by britney-kylie and craig david no further elaboration needed.
ITS THE DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION 2008!and i will be there to celebrate!
tomorrow is new year's eve. erm yay.

ayinukonik

i ate Oscars at The Conrad!! 59 bucks buffet = yumness.
happy.
old parliment house was a nice place. it had a better view then the stamp museum's entrance. sitting there was romantic and matsy but nice. some great chat went on about life, love and other things. thank God we didnt speak much about random gossip that can be very juicy yes but very unnecessary secular unbonding surface talk. i realised when 2 or 3 gather to talk about this person ah or that prson ah... if the talk happens all the time it means that we have NOTHING to talk abt so we gossip. luckily t and v are yuppies and eclectic like me so we sat there, sipping melon tea in cups, eating chocolate and gourmet cheese cubes. and mp3 blasting away.better than mindless window shopping i reckon.
barely gave a damn abt relatives christmas party. boring fake and noisy. 4 dogs. 100000 kids. 1000000000000 decibels. it was less magical than when i was a kid these days. but having a good movies discussion with kw, v, t, j and m was fun at chinatown in the morning. YumCha restaurant was alright. realised that the waitresses do not entertain youths like as as much as they do with old people there cos it seems that they totally ignored us.

the christmas drama was horrible.

a crap day

Fuck you Jesus Christ.
You have killed my soul.
I live for nothing but feelings these days and you must kill me with irrationality without sense.
I blame it on You Lord.
I don’t know where I came from but things are crazy in me.
I don’t have parents committing adultery.
I am not fucking poor.
I am not disabled.
I do not need anything.
But you must give me nonsense.
Lord You must make my life a torture.
Sanity and consciousness cannot be chosen or controlled.
You made it in me.
You gave me this like a sarcastic sadistic gift.
To destroy my mind.
When will fuck justify my anguish I am feeling today Lord?
Why do you create me to torture and destroy my self to death?
It was an explosion. Uncontrollable pain.
When will it be the last time I will stop feeling irrational feelings?
When will I stop exploding?
When will I stop?
When will my blood stop boiling?
When will I end my pain in me?
Regret is inevitable like a anti climatic ending but angst erupts later on.
I need to die Lord please take my life away today.
I need to end it all
I will never admit wrong and I need the comfort of hells fire to be satisfied.
I need to compare hell’s fire and reality there.
I need to destroy my heart.
I need to eliminate my soul and sensibility.
Maybe suicide will end it all.
They say no one committed suicide for any small little reasons.
And that the death is worth the end of any lame future.
How I wish I had the courage to die today.
I hope my courage builds up well in me.
How I wish I had no conscience.
How I wish I had no nagging guilt.
How I wish Jesus would pour his blood on my head.
How I wish the Holy Spirit would make my mouth foam.
How I wish I could bomb my church with Christians in it to prove my insanity and mental destruction.
I can’t cry.
I can’t think.
I need to kill.
Maybe take others along with me as well.
Like an evil mental person.
For maybe others need to feel what is pain.
Some need to be tortured to feel irrational pain.
Some need to burst reality’s bubble and enter the world of madness and truth.
Why is God not here or there or anywhere.
Fuck you God.
I cant repent like the rest!
I cant!
I feel i have no need to!
I need normal in my life!
I need to get out of madness.
I need to see normal.
I need to see a real entity.

He is not here.
He is dead.
God is in hell laughing with the devil today.
God is raping me everyday of my life.
Thank God I am doubting and dying inside.
Thank God that I am crazy.
Thank God I am retarded.
For oneday the world will know what crazy is.
One day the world will see what a tortured mind could do.
One day God will be seen as the devil in sheeps clothing.
One day His blood will spill on the world as poison.
And the bible will be ripped into shreads of ashes.
Pastors will scream selfishness and lies lies lies of their own tongues.
Christians will crumble like a huge fortress into a naked pool of human orgies.
Noone in particular is the devil. The devil is everything.
I now wait for the promised lightning to stike me.
I will regret saying this tomorrow but i believe this is true within me forever.

somethings i wrote only apply to that day. actually i don have to explain myself. wtever.

marina

Flaws and all(live) by beyonce
lets dance by Hi-tack

Marina bay steamboat.
Secondary school children’s recreational area.
A haven of ah lians whining to their boyfriends in busstops .
She will let him touch her all over.
Then they will kiss and show obscene public affection on bus 400 back to the mrt station.
The dirty food.
Us ending up eating sashimi chicken.
The occasional gas explosion from the stove.
The gaggling teenagers.
The jumping prawns and squealing girls.
Leavin the place with smoke smell on your clothes.
Marina bay steamboat place is going to be gone soon.
Petition to save it now! www.iwantmymarinabaysteamboat.com.sg

if you spend alot, you end up with nothing.
if you dont spend, you still end up with nothing.

Cleo killed romance

another short story by me
When a normal man enters the Guess store at Takashimaya, he would not help but catch sight of that girl. For she is no ordinary salesgirl my dear friends. That apathetic indifferent nonchalant figure in a sundress slumped at the watch counter with her fingers twirling her bangs like one doing the hypnotic Hawaiian hula makes men’s moan in their hearts- breathless. Her sultry coaxing of her occasional yawns with a light pet of her palm would melt the entire place into a slurry muffledness and it would become nothing but just that man and she. However though, the state of mind would not be mutually theirs but independently his. She works with a half-hearted composure ignoring good service habits with no cheerful smile but what redeems her would be her piercing eyes that makes us men buy the ladies watch she’s selling, just for her.

Sometimes between each customer buying a skirt or dress or two, he would peer towards the watch counter’s direction. Sometimes when she was bored enough, she too would intuitively look towards the cashier’s counter where he mended. Sometimes both he and she would look up at each other simultaneously and the air condition would be colder than a second ago and the hair on their arms would tingle with a muffled ecstasy that would affect the inner hormones. Then after would come that infectious lingering blissful grin on both their faces. The meeting of a glance was a guilty pleasure as they work in the boutique. Like a cheap thrill. Or food for a hungry passion. Or a secret guilty pleasure. Whatever it was, it was somewhat a cute romancing.

Days past. It was the forth week working alongside Kevin and though she has smiled at him twice before, she was yet to even exchange a word with Kevin (who worked just three racks of coats and jeans from her). But today, MeiQi read Cleo and Cleo’s horoscope commanded the Sagittarius girl to change her shy ignorant demeanour and let out her wild side on the Cancer boy or she would never lay eyes on her Desire ever more…

It was getting late and the popular boutique looked like a war-zone (sale). The last customer whisked off her shopping bags from the cashier counter and tottered out of the store with Kevin’s ‘thank-you-please-come-again’ trailing behind her. Kevin’s work smile faded and he begun accounting for the bank notes in the cash machine dutifully. MeiQi giggled at him. He looked so involved in his job and that is so perversively attractive to her. Always. Irked by her laughter, he took a short glance at her where he smirked in return and ignorantly resumed his accounting process like never before… It was the chance of her lifetime now or never. She soon sauntered towards his counter that now looks like a small fenced arena where MeiQi was the preying panther and Kevin was the unknowing deer stuck in a dead end. She did it with a peculiar desperate confidence.

She crept up from behind and leaned her front torso onto his back. Kevin felt a sudden rush of shock trickling up his spine and he gasped as her hands grabbed his waist.

“Kev-”

“Wh! What the fuck! Are you doing?” Kevin stuttered as he pushed himself free from her clutches. The gesture was beyond his comprehension or of any appropriate timing. With a glare, he took the broom from the closet at the side and began the last sweep through of the store. He also swept her further away from him. Leaving her backing off towards her territory three clothe-racks away from him, staring blankly into his face, guilt ridden, heart broken, emotionally shaken. It was her last day at work for she could never face that love interest of hers ever again.

half light

Check out:
1. Kenna
2. Melee

As I type, I am savouring a symphony of flavours. I am justifying to myself how amazing N.E.R.D is in Fly or Die, as they flazz their groove into my ears through my in-ear headphones. I am sitting beside a book I found called ‘Lolita’ by Vladimir Nabokov. It mind-blowingly begins like this(hence explains the act of purchase):

Chapter 1
“Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.
She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was Lolita.
Did she have a precursor? She did indeed she did. In point of fact she might have been no Lolita at all had I not loved, one summer, a certain initial girl-child. In a princedom by the sea. Oh when? About as many years before Lolita was born as my age was that summer. You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the misinformes, imple, noble winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of thorns…”

I am happy I am out and am packed with a whole cartoon series to watch when I’m bored. I couldn’t find ben 10 in HMV but found and bought the whole series of Justice League Unlimited for 22 bucks. Joys.

I bought amazing socks and am still fighting with myself whether to give it to someone or wear them myself. Went to Ikea to get random stuff, christmas stuff and plants with my mum and it was fruitful.

Then I went home to watch Pingu.

Long but fun day

Quite a fun day today. But before that I want to thank Arthur for packing my area, folding my towels and underwear, arranging and sweeping my area and making me happy. You re the man. I will seriously intro you nice girls for I know you’d take care of your wife really well. First went on a sakae sushi meal with Amanda and Natalie. Was their birthday treat. Erm the salmon and some fried thingies was nice I guess but quite a number of other stuff were horrible. Sakae was soso and today’s meal confirmed my ratings again. then we walked around giving each other nice friendship cards in gift shops, thrilling and tugging each others heartstrings (not really buying them) till we did little jigs. Then we drifted around west mall for a while like drinking a random cup of mango thing at coffee bean and touching a random baby. Then we split. Or splat. Yup splat. Nat went clubbing with half a dozen boys at clarke key and Amanda disappeared into the abyss. Saw fuzhi at Giordano looking at boxers. Weird but true. Didn’t go with him to the beauty contest later in the day though. Then met veron and martin at bus interchange where we saw an amazing frog dancing to a Britney song amidst half a million uhhhuhuuhh (an Indian tune)! I went to see tim and mitch commission at safti. Erm tim doesn’t know that half the time we were aching and groaning at the canteen a short route march from the parade. “poor service!” shouted a desperate lady to an officer in a buggy when she was late and had to run up a flight of steps to watch the parade. Was hilarious. Managed to catch mitch and although this sounds fking gay but I do miss him a lot. Its been a loooooooooooong while since I met this commando/officer. I missed the old mitch though. din really like what the saf had done to him or anyone in fact. Saw geisha gang but im so over geisha. She no longer appeals to me and hanging out with lesbos is not cool. Saw Yvonne too. She tao-ed mitch claiming she wasn’t close to him and spotted a rather fake tan and a new demeanor that was VERY awkward. Loosen up girl. Its only uni days not like you need to change a lot to yourself to prove you’ve grown from a jc girl. ANYWAY we struggled to get sophy to raise her yellow plastic bag in a sea of noisy humans so that we could locate her as we were late and stranded at the back, but she merely giggled and gave a a a I forgot. So retarded right. And although getting lost in a sea of desperate screaming girls and 4321-haired boys, I managed to find tim despite poor navigational directions from 2 pals. We took a couple of photos here and also there and me veron jon and martin zipped off to vivo. I was supposed to go to some seventeen queen of queens with my army mates at a retarded place called st james (too dark to erm see any girls pls). But I realized I shouldn’t be another perv hiding in the dark watching little girls like cherrie ah… prancing around on stage doing little jigs to make little boys stand up. Other than fuzhi and malcom in the army gang, I chose to stick with real closer friends. Class friends like Martin, jon and veron whom were not the first ones who told me not to go to that beauty contest thing. Instead we managed to catch up with each other about marrying pretty people like Felicia chin, eating each other on an island, laughing at gays, gyrating Enrique eglasias, writing haikus, Christmas, tv shows, bitching, laughing 2/3s of the time and yup was great. Nice bonding time tgt we all agreed. I particularly enjoyed the 5 seconds of silence to commemorate our friendship at burger king. Random but meaningful. And we went toys r us and we went crazy. DORA the explorer is my new crush. She’s so cute my gosh. And I learnt how to ride on a skateboard. Realized it was all about centre of gravity. Veron was having trouble finding her centre of gravity and kept tumbling. Nurudin would have been proud of me and martin for we were actually not bad. We raced abit and left in a scurry after security guards came chasing martin around the toy shop. We then left after prancing around gap, timberland and Candy Empire where I stole and ate chocolates for free! Didn’t meet the army peeps at all. Yz did call me about mounting tmr. I expected it from the first time mal msged me in the afternoon. I didn’t want to be a difficult person and its true. Yz was telling me about some deal and I wasn’t really listening cos half the time I was signaling to veron to get the biscuit puffs with the colorful cream twirls on it. Sometimes some things are not important. Life goes on. Suck thumb. Focus on the happier realm. You die happy.
Was a great secular day out. Church was not even on my list of activities. God your birthday is coming soon. My media and food fast is dwindling. I still love You though.

guess what...

we're gonna celebrate

you have no idea what enjoying music is all about till you see how these euro daft punk fans dance to the song One More Time. in this video, you can only feel one thing: jealous that you were'nt fuckin there.

misc topmans

beautifulness

top 15 girls of 2007

1. felicia chin
2. jessica alba
3. fiona xie
4. kate moss
5. paris hilton
6. jessica simpson
7. jade seah
8. jessica beil
9. britney spears
10. marcia cross
11. katie holmes
12. drew barrymore
13. maggie gyllenhaal
14. lucy liu
15. renée zellweger

my fast begins?

I finished watching an inconvienient truth movie today and realised how stubborn a successful country can be when the promise of a better economy could choose to make themselves oblivious to environmental issues.
but i only have about 60 years more to live. less if i get a disease or an unfortunate accident.
global warming would not directly kill me but probably my kids. (or other peoples if i dont end up with those imbeciles.) so why should I bother about global warming. it does not affect me. i'll probably be dead when it affects the world. if ice melts, polar bears die, erm trees burn, it just melts, dies and burns for my favour. for the greater good of short term betterment for the world but aka long term betterment for ME. so fat hope on spending more on i'm-not-a-plastic-bag crap.

my life is filled with crap.
shits, materialism, other things, unimportant things, mind occupying crap stuff etc.

so monday begans my no sin no media no food fast.
10th december 2007 to 17th december 2007.
this means no lies and yes nat, no lust, no sin basically. which is challenging considering my currant heck-care-for-god-is-not-real-after-all attitude.)
also no media means no nintendo no magazines no music no shopping(unless for others due to christmas)
no food too. what i mean about this is eating no meat (hurrah for me for i was born hating car siew shit.) and eating on average 1 and a half meals a day.

yesterday:
i managed to make 3 hours of pure spirituality. Meaning i read storybooks, worshipping and praying. was refreshing for months since ages.
i managed to deny 60% of temptations but nagging and driving others crazy 40% more.
i exploded into ds gaming 1am till 7am. couldnt withold boredom.

conclusion:
i tried. :-)

christmas shopping is tiring.

a constructive post

Extracts from a random God book:

darwin says there is no such thing as God.
there is only science and evolution.
that is too stark for most of us. we need a soulmate: we gaze upwards to
find him.
most of us need something spiritual to believe in.
after all, man cannot leave on bread alone.

because we dont know what life is all about, we spend a great deal of time
seeking answers.
there are no answers. we will never find them.
God in his infinite wisdom has made it that way, so that life becomes
infinitely interesting.
its the unknown that makes life so rich.
what's going on?
God knows...

have you ever felt when you attended a party for your friends' birthday, everyone were just there to prepare and mingle and have fun, hence totally forgetting about the birthday boy?
are you like that when you lead cell, prepare for worship, even while doing quiet time and prayer, that you are going through motion/routine and missing out on God Himself. Its easy for that to happen. Wake up.

smoking is as bad as overeating for they both fall into the category of not treating your body as a temple for God. so fat people, i'm sorry but you are sinning.

i have a sudden urge to dedicate a part of my blog to Rihanna. thanks for giving me eye candy. (a first for a negro in my life) good music like please dont stop the music and also for sexy videos like the hate how much i love you song.

love story i wrote myself so enjoy

love story by melvin
i took a long time conceptualizing this so do give it a try.

He touched her thigh. His nose then moved through her hair and onto her cheek generating uncontrollable and unexplainable chills in both their nerves. Their eyelashes met as they huddle together sharing their body warmth. She closed her eyes to enjoy the moment with bliss. The sea breeze rose up from their side sleeves then brushing high above their necks and face and into the starry sky. The palm trees shuffled its leaves in return.
“I love you Daphne. I really love you.” Kevin said with puppy dog eyes, a muffled yearning.
“Mm.”, sighed Daphne giving him a quiet yet captivating smile and a little peck on his ear. She held his forearm and weaved her fingers into his short hair. Then she placed her bee-stung lips closely into his ear and whispered “Why does your eyes glimmer like the reflections of the moon on the sea, causing my heart to feel this way? Why do I jitter and feel so hot inside by just smelling your hair and your neck?”
“Your breath tickles Daphne. Your breath in my ear. I like it.” Kevin said as he placed his palm on her cheek turning her face towards his, mesmerized by her beautiful eyes and staring right back at him. “You always get me weak inside Daphne. Daphne. Daphne. Even your name. So Beautiful. I just don’t know what to do without you Daphne. How I wish this moment will last forever. Forever holding you in my arms. Loving you. Kissing you. Whispering sweet nothings about your eyes. Your hair. And the way you do things. I need you Daphne by my side forever now. Or I will die inside and wilt. Wither into nothing without you Daphne. Be with me now and forever. Complete me.”
Daphne held Kevin tight her petite frame shrouded into his larger body and for that moment time stood still and they became one in body, heart and thought. “I will as the sun will rise east every morning. I will, as the winds would blow on. And the clock would tick. Why Kevin. Kevin. Your skin is so soft and warm against the icy cold here.” She had to say nothing more and expressed herself by brushing her head against his.

The pills were in his left palm. He held them to his torso and looked down onto his feet with sadness. She cupped her hands onto that hand and said, “Kevin. We have to do this. This will be our forever Kevin.” There was silence. A bird fluttered by.
“Kevin are you crying?” Daphne said rather distressed.
“It doesn’t have to be like this Daphne!” Kevin sobbed uncontrollably and shifts his composure uncomfortably. “ It cant… You shouldn’t! I-” “Why must it be like this! Gh-awd! Why must God do this to us why cant He fucking prevent this from happening… I mean- oh Daphne, Daphne please!” moaned Kevin. He grabbed her top like a vice almost ripping it off. He whimpered like a sad dog and crumbled into a heap of matter. He was a heartbreaking heartbroken sight. All the life in him seemed to be lost from him.
Daphne took the pills from his rough hands like a feather. Kevins eyes trailed the pill’s every move. She popped one in her mouth. And Kevin scrambled for the other pill and placed it into his mouth. He didnt want her to go without him. “Oh Gawd oh gawd oh gawd…” Kevin mumbled as he chewed on.
“Oh gawd… I don’t want to die after you do.”
She just smiled. She held the boy’s cold hands very tightly. She closed her eyes and laid down. Kevin followed suit. They stared at each other. She wore a smile which had a vibe that could be one of the world’s greatest mysteries. “This is it Kev.” Kevin laid there helplessly, tears rolling like rivers onto the sand on the empty dark beach.

Few minutes later, they were as cold as the wind. Dead stiff.

love is indie air

I bought the book God explained In a Taxi Ride by Paul Arden. All christians hate the approach or conclusion to this book even though it supports God. So weird. I thought it was the best book to convert skeptics, atheists and other weirdos.

I bought Daft Punk latest cd Alive live from Paris. AMAZING. Go geddit. I realized i am catagorized in this group of weirdos called the Neu Rave or New Rave. Which encompasses electro punk dance indie rock. they wield neon lightsabers and deck in old people and nerdy people clothes. and some candypulp jewellery. and logan tee shirts. well Love is indie air anyway.

My fucking EQ is 93 out of 180. the talking smiley says:

You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.

You're a bit moody, and sometimes you have trouble coping with every day life.
But you're by no means depressed, and your good days definitely out number your bad days.

There's nothing really wrong with your life, but you may not be living up to your actual potential.
Negative emotions can be a real drain of your energy, so make sure you have them under control.

like whatever. (melvin puts a 'W' sign on his temples.)
i guess i couldnt give a f damn if 5 pl die on a stupid dragon boat. (melvin waves his hands around like baboon.)
one child dies every minute from aids. but then how many gazillion children are out there littering this earth pls... (melvin does the salmon dance.)

Qtn: You think that important things in your life are controlled by...
1. Destiny
2. Your own actions

Ans: 1
Because things controlled by your own actions are not important. You are in control of your own actions and though sometimes not, its within reach. But destiny I have a problem. I cant control it making it an important problem. yup.

Poem #167
Your loss was great
But mine was greater.
I wanted a friend
But i got a martyr.

My life was precious
But yours was needed.
Mental malfunction rampant
As my anchor has retreated.

Parents think im no good
By siblings i am hated.
Every friend is precious
Even after the photos have faded.

Your passing will haunt
My life in a downwaed spiral.
My psyche frail, gaunt
My blood leaks onto teh table.

The knife is poised
The noose is knotted.
I'll join you again
After my life has faded.

stay home now

I have declared the following 3 songs are the ultimate slutty bimbo songs of 2007
1. Easy by Paula deAndra
2. Gimme more by Britney Spears
3. He said she said by Ashley Tisdale

Aaaaaaaaah! Legion of superheroes is the best cartoon ever. I very excite. Has been sitting on the same spot since 10 in the morning. I’m addicted and I am a fan. Already watching season 2 and its way better. Watching episode 5 and I am really thrilled by they’re journey into lightning’s past. It’s my favourite episode other than episode 12 and 13 of season 1 where they fight the sun eater. There’s this iron dude who died on the episode it was so sad I almost cried. Superman X rocks.Its not just another fight fight cartoon instead it offers much more. It gets better every episode. Superman and superman X, bouncy boy, cosmic boy, cham, Jupiter, phantom girl, duo damsel, lightning lad, . I need to watch more more more. Too bad there is no season 3 YET. But when its done, when its DONE, I will and yay for Mekt has switched sides on episode 5 yet served his time in prison sad but true.

Have watched a couple of ugly betty episodes too. quite a retarded story like an extended devils wear prada movie cum desperate housewifes 'murderer mystery' as 2nd storyline.
Shayne ward's album is so funny but somehow addictive and i like it. i like his song the 'you put down no you put down kind of love song.' and of course his hit song too. i realised he is another manufactured loser from a british singing competition. but still he is westlife/savagegarden/ne-yo/mika/craig david all in one.

having my leave now and am bored stiff. enjoying moments of nothingness in my mind. didnt move much today stayed home throughout. playing my DS game called Wario Master of Disguise. addictive. i fell into the gaping drain beside the path between my condo and lakeside mrt station, causing me to drop my ds and grazing my knees and feet. now i am bleeding blood and lots of yellow pus. moral of the story... never walk and play ds even though it is in broad daylight for you will not walk straight and you will fall into the big gaping drain. spare the stares from strangers. unglam moments are bad reputation.

buffer period

worshit
some days worship songs feel like empty promises like when songs say You lift me up and i dont feel lifted up, i feel these songs force the thought in you or ends up making yourself feel out of place and then awkward. lies too. when worship songs declare things God seem not to provide and praises to Him seem to be unfairly showered upon. Are we sure we know what we are singing about or are you closing your eyes and enjoying the romantic lyrics unity in strength and amazing band play?

problem again
secular things no longer evoke an immediate fear and strength i used to have in me anymore. i just do it without much fear of God's lightning rod. i have lost my fear for the Lord maybe. or maybe i have been too sheltered and fortunate. maybe i no longer have the same respect for righteousness after i doubted. even though now i am grasping thinly on the film of faith these days, developing slowly but getting better. instead of the God-fearing occurance, these days i am less disciplined. its an 'after effect' or 'resultant reaction' or just showing that i've 'excessively INDULGED in sin' that causes this numbness in my morals and laws i lead my life on. but this saturation does bring feelings of guilt, then pain. then sadness. then freedom. then a release. a freedom in spirituality. confort in purity after the darkness. cleansing after guilty turmoil. convinced by self psyching and thinking that God has forgiven once again and that i will be more righteous from the moment on. but today was today. tomorrow is a whole new adrenaline and energy. life becomes a cycle and mistakes are repeated. Jesus i need you to shake me up. thnx.

online movie watching
watched a thousand movies on the online free website www.watch-movies.net and things are getting dry. like how i will never read books i borrow from libraries unlike books i buy myself, i realised movies are better appreciated on a bigger screen. for we will not be as spoilt for choice and not walk out on the movie as early as i do on movies watched accesibly online. realised in good luck chuck, Alba is unable to look in a sexy manner. i am not kidding she does not have a single slutty angle on her baby face. she is just cute looking. but thats what i now like about her. the movie was adorable and lighthearted but yet heavy on sex. just like how i like it. bee movie was boring thanks to the court case being the main premise of the movie. lack of action brings let down especially to an animated film. but its still a nice movie. August rush a movie yet to come out is amazing. the ending of this classical music musical movie is simply amazing. its about a young very talented boy's journey to discovery about the world of music. there are many other random shows like walk to remember and other lame shows... fun days. :)

new photographs with henry

flats by ~frogboychickenrice on deviantART


old people cutting their hair by ~frogboychickenrice on deviantART


shop house by ~frogboychickenrice on deviantART