i got some shirts from the Robinsons sale. and the most expensive piece was like, $39* dollars. hurray. i had so many designs to choose from and was spoilt for choice. many had nice rainbow shades and slim cuts all below $40* (*not even accounting for a 10% overall discount after.) i really like the 2 on the left because of their simple patterns that are understatedly nice. the other 2 louder pieces were not my first choice but still, i felt were still most practical.
“…When God is our Holy Father, sovereignty, holiness, omniscience and immutability do not terrify us; they leave us full of awe and gratitude. Sovereignty is only tyrannical if it is unbounded by goodness; holiness is only terrifying if it is untempered by grace; omniscience is only taunting if it is unaccompanied by mercy; and immutability is only torturous if there is no guarantee of goodwill. That which God has joined together, let no man put asunder. Thanks be to God, we know with a surety that His grace and goodness and hope and His love underlie all of these attributes. How do we know? Follow the face of Christ to the cross, and you will see it…”
-Ravi Zacharias
Well I agree with what this guy said. I really luv the way he put his words. Such settling effect it gives the heart with a peaceful perception of God’s handling of His power makes me actually believe in an all powerful God who created us to love us loving Him. This is not just a comfort ideology humans create to attain a heightened appreciation of morality and a reason to watch one’s own actions, but it acts as a reminder about an obvious balance and hence possibility of an all powerful yet all loving God.
Michael Jackson helped me prove Jesus’ existence
People nowadays have witnessed the decline of Michael Jackson but you become a new born convert once you have been in one of his concerts. Imagine the cry of a little girl who saw her idol enter the stage. Imagine how fans still react at the presence of the king of pop. (watch 2006 world music awards) Now imagine God. If ever he comes down during the end time, how much more would the King of the universe have from us? Fans (Christians) would scream so loud in joy and cry tears of happiness, those who never liked Him would actually feel a deep sense of guilt because of the loneliness and emptiness they would feel even more. I cant really explain this concept here, but I think you know where I am coming from la. God is starting to make sense here. Conscience, a superior sensibility in which we have and that I believe no computer can ever have, provides us with the rightful emotions set to lead us to God and no evolutionary theory can ever destroy the meaning of life itself no matter how shallow our existence can be simplified to seem to be.
The Word
Here are some things Richard Dawkins wrote that he sees as discrepancies between info in the bible. As he said, Biblical inconsistencies are glaring in the New Testament yet we glide over them and they just disappear into negligence. For one thing, the different assertions of Jesus' birth place in the gospel of John 7:41-43 and in Micah 5:2's prophecy seem to differ. in John, it remarks that followers were surprised that he was not born in Bethlehem:
Others said. This is Christ. But some said, Shall Christ come out of Galilee? hath not the scripture said, that Christ cometh of the seed of David, and out of the town of Bethlehem, where David was?
In Micah, it says Jesus was to be born in Bethlehem Ephratah, (... though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting.) Important or not, Matthew and Luke does provide differing journeys Mary and Joseph took. Matthew has the couple in Bethlehem all along, moving to Nazareth only long after jesus' birth, on their return from Egypt where they fled from King Herold and the massacre of innocents. Luke contrastingly states that they lived in Nazareth before Jesus was born. (so how did Mary and Joseph get to Bethlehem so fast at the crucial moment to fulfil the prophesy?)
These are inconsistencies? Or are they merely different phrasings of the same thing and also things that would not make sense today but do at that time in history?
To add, I have realized how strong God’s word is. The truth it has given to many people through many ages. The unarguable issues and the relatable nature it still has to the people. The problem with today is the lessening of dependence the world and I have for a God. We do not need a healer when we have a doctor. We do not God to provide when we have sufficiency and money. Times have changed too. God plays no important role in everyday life. Time has become too short and everything else seems to busify our limbs, disabling us to engulf ourselves with Him and His word. This long and painful path to Sodom and Gomorrah is calling out for a revival particularly the areas where the well-to-dos populate the ground. Knowledge corrupted and politics misuse His terms. Life has become too worldly to live with one’s guard down. And I do believe that today, the storm needs to be cleared and these days the storms will clear, but in a slow and painful manner.
Pain and pain’s protective reaction
I feel a need to protect the injured area when I am cut by something. It’s a natural biological and psychological reaction. Similarly I believe this physical reaction works the same with one’s spiritual condition. I feel really low sometimes when God seem to be not there at all and I tell you when you feel so, you really feel so empty and dead, you feel like a dark figure of hopelessness. You sometimes feel you are influential; you begin to keep to yourself. And then you collapse into yourself, destroying yourself. This spiritual lowness, as I was saying, creates an intense reaction within one’s soul to be protected. Like a wound as elaborated. There is a great need for God within the soul as time goes by. Whether the cause for this lowness within the soul is by atheistic influence or mere oblivience, the need and thirst for God is detached from those or any other reasons. Instead, the lack of, testifies the need for spiritual fulfilment. This probably also explains how every tribe and nation always seek a God somehow. And somehow, these yearn for spiritual fulfilment calls for fine tuning and enlightening of the one true God I guess. And hence we should make disciples of all wondering nations…
walking through Bukit Gombak void deck, 500m towards grace 2.
this is like writing a suicide note every night. i didn't need God this week. again.
must be the comforts of today. i see myself disfiguring my silhouette's facade (a double vagueness) in the future as i pee-quiver at the thrill of walking on egg shells.
Praying to see Him is in some way, totally ironic. hillsong is starting to make me puke with nausea as today's front page depicts a pastor's singer wife lavish over golden taps she own. some people die with no one in his arms.
I yawn at the sea of hand clappers and arm raisers is this an all time spiritual low, or is this an all time reality-check high? i grasp onto the hem of Jesus'robes dear life. so much help for something so tough makes me feel guilty. the loss of a figure of hope to keep on living and a pillar of inner peace brings immense sorrow discomfort discontent.
When life becomes a drifty state when the subconscious subconscience seizes to exist you can see it in me
And you saw it. -
Yes reuben tan. the watch is minimalistically cool.
i was like wow wen i saw this music video on mtv. the t-shirts are all so cool and come up one after the other as though effortlessly done. wow. -
my IPPT (individual physical performance test) results
shuttle run: 9.2secs = 5 points pull-ups: 12 = 5 points sit ups: 40 = 5 points 2.4km run: 9min 28sec = 5 points standing broad jump: 216 = 2 points total: 22 points out of a max of 25 points. thanks to sbj, i got the highest possible pass. fyi, 21 points already is a silver if my results were more diffused. 24 points is a gold i think.
Screw the upcoming future as we become hell skipping kids who evangelize about everything degenerating which other generations never dared step into, adding to biblical prophesy in revelations by making a wretched world come true. The modern, radical, unappreciative yet loud or emotive, inconsequentially-aware, apathetic, unknowing, naïve young adults of today. Life has sleazed sweepingly, wildened and it had became painfully unembellished. We become danger-zone mountaineers and social-delinquating activists all equipped with worldly sovereignty and abilities X-men equivalent. If you disagree you must be spiritual. So the rest of us let's sing, drink and be merry for life no longer makes any progressive sense too quickly. Trying to change the change is by not allowing change in the first place and it is already too late.
-
Religion I love playing the game of religion. It's an independence I deserve and an option I believe all young people should be given and more importantly, EXPOSED to. I don’t like to end this game but this game is meant to end. I should inevitably become a Christian or an atheist which after much reading, I am still decisionless despite me contradictingly indulging myself in the realms of both and believing both. This game cannot end from what the prospects of things seem to look like and waiting for God's sign OR gaining enough info to ascertain me that there is just no God (which trust me if you are open enough to actually PICK UP a book against the God concept, you'll find some revolutionary interesting stuff in them.) I did share with Brenda some stuff and she was quite amused at the info out there away from the walls of the church. I believe in reading and delving into things balanced, with no focus or attention on just one side. This is a debate. Not advertising. There has to be pros and cons, points stronger than others. I'll keep on having a lot of fun reading and thinking although it might be the exact same path that draws me away from God, if there is one up there.
wit is the clearest sign of intelligence since it rids off the stupid but hardworking people. wit is also an attractive personality trait and when used well develops into a grand sense of humor. i hate people who speaks so banally, it becomes so devoid of wit, it would border on the surreal. this description usually fits the pure milks, flesh imps and newbies (young dumb teens) who couldn't care less to properly educate themselves, epitomizing the facade of the new modern teenager which men like Neil Humphrey feel are "as appealing as a nature programme on the mating habits of ladybirds". admittedly, these are people i find hard to accept. i hate them when they try to form rock bands too. and when they try to emulate the emo style without knowing what emo is and was all about really in Britain. oh and also the way they try to speak with a wannabe gangsta slang as if they are in da hood is really really stupid especially when they still don on their school uniforms that make them like an Enid Blyton character. the government should never try to be hip by prancing around like an average pure milker, like they did during chingay parade (a year ago)? they should remain in their suits. and just create good policies for us to get our attention. the government are just doing it all wrong if they continue try to behave like young kids. - elitism is the in topic these days as my classmates have reckoned. newspapers have been talking quite a bit about it and i find this topic quite intriguing as well.
to me i feel that elitist attitudes are attitudes of people who are in top institutions and who harbor on and on, on everything affiliated to their scholistic relations and achievements, whether they are conscious about it or not. these, usually to cover up what they lack which possibly is everything else. they also think they are better through aid of their academic status to cover personal insecurities and ironically to become socially looked up to.
the only people complaining are basically the non elitist and since the non elitists are never elitists, whenever they speak about their sentiments towards the topic, they are inevitably categorized as jealous. so technically if i ever had an opposing view regarding the elitist society this meritocratic nation is like, brooding, i technically become jealous. get it? i never was, never am and never will be an elite of whatever sort so there.
elites better perform in the workforce of tomorrow then. and make us expect a booming economy and all that success crap or our 'jealousy' turn into violent anger. usually the extravagant richer, smarter, better off, people would go to hell anyway or at least one day fall flat on the ground, hard. it's even similarly said in the bible of the rich man and poor man parable. - oh and the new folio is out and i really really like this shirt from Paul Smith.
Sometimes i do wonder what goes on in the minds of these people who love physical training, loves screaming vulgarities at us and love being ordered around to order around. sergeants are crazy creatures that i cannot fully understand. maybe their motivation in doing so could be the sheer power and ego they can throttle us sadistically with, with no retaliation.
anyway, i picked up a copy of singapore's first sex magazine, Love Airways (which is the most uninformative, boring and retarded mag i've ever seen), and found my sergeants littering the pages! my gosh the embarrassment i had laughing aloud alone in the train was nothing compared to the laughter i believe my bunk mates and i would be overwhelmed with for these men who flaunt their desprate attempts to hook up girls and to show their sick promiscuity to the whole world! Sgt Wei Ming aka Adrian Tan,20 even took a sex survey telling the whole world he wants to have sex 5 days a week and loves silky and lacy stuff on girls. sick. and my section commander sgt chong che chang tgt with sgt wei wen, sgt weithing and sgt sean all shamelessly describe themselves as the sporty siloso beach hunks which is totally retarded. hahahhaha. oh my gosh this is so 'scandalous and unglam' for these people. imagine them screaming at us for not marching well or singing loud enough, now i see them having gay hobbies like star gazing. (see sgt sean). SICK.
i have been really bored. very very bored. so i would like to share about some stuff.
Polotees There are standard colors to branded polo t shirts i believe. no one should own like, a white locoste polo or a blue Raulph lauren polo. they just are not right. it's like the time pepsi came out with a blue toned version of it's black gassy drink. it just didnt feel right when i drank it. likewise,i feel that as seen in the picture, the crocodile green tone apitomizes the Lacoste polo ($99). Raulph lauren's polo ($126) should only be pure white and Nautica ($75) interestingly is advertised to be better, yellow.
Shorts Ok i have one decent pair of shorts from the store, 'Wh' which looks just like the one the man is wearing in the picture below on the top far left. i feel that has nice length but the cut could be better, like the picture with the word outsiders on it or the guy crossing the stupid road. i want to know where to get pants with better cut.
I officially own and wear one pair of jeans. it is quite a retarded number of jeans as most normal people need at least two. but i dont really like jeans. its so... blue. i hate blue. its boring. i hate levi's series of that stupid coopper jeans nonsense. its so ugly all over the walls of orchard, it ruins my day. so distasteful and robotic and mechanical. jeans are so mechanical yes thats the word. i hate clothes that are so rigid and lifeless. it speaks nothing of a person. it's thrown onto every and anything and it matches all because everyone wears them and hence adds to it's boringness. mitch and reuben are searching for a nice pair and have made me wondered whether maybe i should get one too just to get alittle mechanical. maybe i need it as a basic piece for rainy days... i dunno. but in 'ask raulph' in the Raulph Lauren website, they gave quite a comprehensive guide to jeans.
What is always smart and stylish with jeans? Denim is the modern man's de facto uniform, lending itself to both rugged-casual looks and the dark, dressy styles of urban denizens. If you're investing in new jeans, demonstrate their versatility with these wearable looks: * Smarten up by pairing dark indigo jeans with a white oxford and narrow navy tie. For a more colorful approach, replace the oxford with a gingham shirt in baby blue. * Go preppy with a medium-wash straight leg, seersucker blazer, pink or white oxford and madras tie and brown loafers (no socks). * For casual weekends, nothing beats the comfort of a soft cashmere hoodie over a colorful tee with washed, worn-in jeans.
How do I choose a pair of jeans? This season, look forward to plenty of choices in a variety of cuts ranging from classic to slim, with washes from the darkest indigo to faded blues to crisp white. The newest offerings display sharp attention to detail-authentic heavyweight denim, hand abrasions, as well as unique stain and resin treatments. The number of varying elements can sometimes be overwhelming, so begin by choosing a fit that works for your body (slim for the long and lean, classic for a more relaxed fit) and then settle on washes that work with your lifestyle (distressed and stained for casual wear and dark indigo for dressier pairings).
How do I choose which wash to wear? With seemingly no limit to the variety of denim, it's best to settle on two or three washes that work with your lifestyle. Dressy, dark washes pair perfectly with a fine-gauge cashmere V-neck or with a tie and blazer. Though white jeans may seem too avant-garde, consider that what looks good with the darkest denim usually works with white, such as a crisp navy polo with a subtle sheen or a blue sport shirt. Save denim with heavy distressing or staining for weekends or casual evenings. These styles, in faded medium-blue washes, will work with everything from a hoodie to an oxford.
What are some authentic elements I should look for in quality denim? There are a number of varying elements to consider when choosing premium denim: fabric weight, unique stain and resin treatments, and artfully-placed distressing. Look for 100% ring spun cotton, which gives the yarn a slight twist, adding dimension to its wash. Double stitching on the front and back rise gives extra security to those areas and maintains the jean's structure. Whiskering, abrasions and resin treatments at the knee or thigh provide unique 3-D effects. The ultimate fabrication is selvage denim, which has a clean, white edge at the interior seam and is woven on antique shuttle looms instead of today's modern equipment, which gives the denim its irregularities. oh and tim wanted to know what matches white jeans so here is the stuff i said i saw in GQ. click to hugify.
A Japanese magazine i got from their airport last year called Safari is very comprehensive. here, you see how the stylish Japanese people learn how to dress from those who make a living wearing them. click above picture to enlarge. in my bunk, whenever i bring my magazines there, my buddies would comment on how much they wish to have a Singapore magazine with affordable apparel in it and not the higher end stuff. i kind of agree with them but then again brands in the end do play apart in penchants and tastes. and sadly, branding pays. still, i find the need to pay more attention to how men should dress in Singapore. look at what The Sartorialist (www.thesartorialist.blogspot.com) found prancing around on the streets of Stockholm. i imagine what we have here and all i see is pure milk, newbie and Samuel & kelvin. its sad.
the bullet soothed through my left temple as smooth as a knife oh and i felt an immense euphoria of peace a spiritual embrace an icy flush of estacy but soon a wave of surging loss and pain brimmed the atmosphere and i fell down into the abyss where there is gnashing of teeth
Oh the beauty of death, the end of all sorrows and worries. right now i feel that i am living for absolutely nothing much. maybe the only thing pulling me through is the quest to do some shitworthy art. the only dream i am grasping on. sometimes i also think how silly i am living for such a dream that 100000 other little kids are also dreaming of, and thinking i can actually be successful its like lying to myself. I'm not the kind who can drift on in life for no reason, playing the games life plays with the world, the ups and the downs are starting to make me unsurprised despite my young age. death becomes a peaceful finality of all things temporarily happy and painfully saddening. i'm getting tired of this conquest to do well too, making everything right in my life and stuff like that. sustaining God in my life is getting tiring and the role God plays is as important as it is so surreal. some people's ways of thinking are just different from others. i think i've discussed this in Debrah's cell. in my relational attitude with God, i find that i have been mindlessly playing intellectual games with God. it is not done on purpose of course because the consciousness i have is fated. and no i cannot just forget about everything and believe in God because that becomes ignorance and blind faith. (but i believe blind faith is still faith itself because faith provides no reason.) i am open to Him many times but intellect is like a slippery tile and i fall back down to square one again. life sucks. but it has to suck for me to know God. death possibly would end all queries. if i die, that would then allow me to attain faith that is not blind, belief beyond feeling and finally getting to see hear and touch God for who He really is and not what every other person perceive Him as or what the Bible says He is. (words to me is not enough to captivate His essence.)
Sometimes i feel how life would really be like not existing anymore. during camp i was at an all time low when i really really felt like dying. i felt that at times trying too hard is futile and that proving myself and stuff is useless, hopeless and probably a waste of time. it at times become selfish a motivation and not important to me but to others in particular. i feel that i had to morbidly embrace my imperfection, my lack of, my loneliness, the fact that i'm fucked up, and not good, useless, i am such an irritating and noise polluting creep too. i think i need to buy myself into acceptance of my idiocy.
wake up. have you noticed my struggles? when are you going to answer my questions and correct my wrongs of perception?
i'm still on my knees. it used to be in revere for you. now i kneel in pleading desperation for what i believe you still owe me by right. and probably to the world too.
time is running out for us nuts that are hard to crack i have 50 years more, the world might not last much longer than that too. at least show us a glimpse of your silhouette. or even a shadow. so that i can end my dead or alive ping pong match with mr. faith and mr. reason thanks to the inadequacy of information about you many fall into the deep dark hole of emptiness where sin is committed just by speculation why we are here for and figuring how we are to go about living in this wretched world. why must we live upon basis of doubtfulness and informative chaos when clarity clarity from you could have easily resolve the extent of human imperfection on perception hence the confirmation of what really is right and wrong.
i need a miracle. i need to believe in miracles first. when the designed creation questions the designer's intention and is unable to even prove its own master is already a failure of the designer itself.
the immense soreness of being left behind all alone is excruciating. as i sit in the tearful darkness of suffering, black forest pools form along the eyes by cause of futile but necessary wishing and hoping still the heart pains with the gnashing of teeth as it beats the beats of harsh reality.
in inner loneliness, friends are just voices words no longer heal God no longer bothers i no longer try nothing heals a gun shot wound.
who cares if you know how i feel. who cares if you care? you are still of no use to seal up the gunshot wound. you are no god and even, god is still so far so i guess i shall remain in the dark damp damned abyss alone with black forest pools welled up in m eyes... - the kidnap
hands tied back tightly trapped in the humiliating kidnap of reality i cannot f* see with the blindfold of my fate so i submit to the state of things losing all willpower to grasp on hope on meaning on God
i sit bound to the chair of the world's most heart shattering despair. which has got even more tenacious than before
my heart still bleeds, old poem. in fact, it oozes out the sick and tired tears, reminiscing jealously of the better times that has became the faded past of yesteryear.
i have became an awkward blank a faceless face a silent laugh a retired clown an imprisoned adolescent
also, what has my 'being personal' became? what is friendship to me? have i forgotten the fundamental of the treatment? have i ever had it?
one thing's for sure i have lost touch with reality i am in fact a building that has collapsed into itself, bruising itself burying and suffocating itself
rain never stopped falling upon me ever since prayers have became suspiciously futile i need a release a time to recuperate, refriend and refresh memories of nostalgia and quality times all over again.
the train rides home the junior college orientation the walks and talks the sweaty ear-suctioned long phone calls the city hall subway the indian temple lunches the shopping trips the canteen breaks the cell gatherings the intellectual discussions the intimate prayers the jurong east library 2rd level the overnight camps in burger king at changi airport the novena starbucks the fulfillment and company and lives shared with people other than myself.
oh the pain of being here without you.
my life in a scrunched up piece of nothingness without your life, intertwined with mine.
a middle finger floats above your head. it's either you think it is inconspicuous or you are literally oblivious to your vulgar facade. your presence does not emit respect but repugnance you don't have to be a bastard to demand order there is a diminishing marginal level of effectiveness in your actions over it's productivity.
The immense pain from those words upon the self-redeeming addict overwhelmed the soul. clenched within gritted teeth, he gulped strong emotions down his throat icy cold.
But he knows now very well that nothing in his betterness would do any good anyway. - truism intrusion
money fame and fun leads to saturation. relational activities like God and friends are best example of time worth inversting in, during this flash of a life we have.
not interested in the heart of beauty but in the beauty of the heart.
don't see pain in my imperfection but the imperfection of my pain.
men first needs to learn how to win. then how to lose.
- a reminder to self
you are to remain as you are not here not there but improving no more no less this prevents all negative feelings all careless actions all resultant physical and mental ailments all religious rebellion all social destruction all potential hazards.
theheart had burstinto a million fragments of the love it desired long ago. the chest held the debris in with it's utmost capability without the desire to retire. the heart of the issue was heartbreak but the heart of the heartbreak was neveran issue at all.
the remnants of the pain felt all in vain is still felt, my love that is lost.
above is the outing my classmates and me had last last book-out.
My bunk mate Kester has written some mysterious things in my little notebook and i really do wonder what they mean.
Sometimes you fall into a cliche you're not particularly attuned to or an idea that doesn't quite fit the facts. But since it makes you feel like you've got a handle in this world. you keep on hanging.
and
in starlit night, and whorelip day, your darkest kiss smells like decay.
and
the light in which you pine flares and dies, waves of revulsion. quote the raven nevermore!
and
cruel blades they flay the flesh ripping hearts in crimson jets crushing sinew with every breath fallen from love with death's repress.
oh and a nice ending to Jon's new episode:
"It is as expected. A noble thief such as I am always misunderstood. Nevertheless, I will stay true to justice. Justice must roam free, milady, so I will have to decline your offer of lodging. I bid you all adieu." He threw something at the floor and it exploded into a cloud of smoke.
"Smoke bombs," said Timothy as he covered his mouth from the smoke. When the smoke cleared Elwood was gone.
"Gosh, I was just kidding about taking him to the brig," said Victoria dissapointed.
"What?!? Vic, how could you?" asked Cheryl.
The doorway leading to the lower decks opened. Veronica came out still lethargic from her sleep. She let out a yawn.
"Hey, everyone, I overslept. Did I miss anything?"
"You were sleeping all this time!?!?" replied everyone in unison.
reject faith, because it has no rational foundation
or reject the idea that you need a rational basis for faith.
i believe that i can come up with a conclusion for now through 'inference to the best explanation'. the materialistic world view has exercised dominance on intellectual life. science has became more influential than ever before as it makes people ask why and believe only if proven so. science and faith have been reckoned as opposing. but one thing for sure, science could produce the evidence i need to 'foundate' my faith with. how can anyone believe in an intelligent designer figure totally out of this universe when we are rational logical natural thinkers who are told from young not to believe in magic you see on tv? with the rise of naturalism thanks to scientific discovery and a knowledge based lifestyle, religious miracles and foundations of existence become viable for fierce scrutiny. skepticism comes by too often in so many people. (i know cos i asked around in army) but i believe that rationally proving God's existence alone is impossible. but rationally proving his validity through recognizing his work in this world makes faith in a God secured with enough foundation. His scientific evidence are a gateway to God. The book of Genesis about the creations in the beginning is a possible place to consider. if science manages to prove the biblical formation of the universe valid over other modern concepts like Darwinism today, faith is well backed up by firm foundation. this is what i have arrived with upon reading Lee Strobel's book The Case for a Creator. Sadly, i do believe Lee Strobel is quite an extremist. Faith, like that no longer is a risk or a blind belief Christianity it used to be based on. this might be seen as a good thing or a bad thing to the nature of belief we are accustomed to. we are no longer 'tested' for pure faith in God. the big bang theory as explanation of genesis: scientists ponder over how the universe came about. they find much trouble in figuring out how energy and other matter can come into existence and form such a complex thing like a universe from nothing. here's the Kalam's logical explanation:
whatever begins to exist has a cause.
the universe began to exist.
hence, the universe has a cause.
The idea of a creator is distasteful to a scientific mind There is a kind of religion in science, it is the religion of a person who believes there is order and harmony in the universe. Every event can be explained in a rational way as the product of some previous event, every effect must have its cause; there is no First cause. This religious faith of the scientist is violated by the discovery that the world had a beginning under conditions in which the known laws of physics are not valid, and as a product of forces or circumstances we cannot discover. When that happens, the scientist has lost control. If he really examined the implications, he would be traumatized. Einstein is a stupid atheist. Many scientists like him cannot find it within themselves to say that a supernatural God exists. And he expressed how he couldn’t stand how the big bang theory always ends up with the God hypothesis. The scientific community is so scornful of faith that there is a reluctance to reveal you as a believer, the opprobrium is so severe. After today’s service I didn’t tell anyone but I felt a sense of emptiness. When Brenda prayed, during the worship session even when there was supposed to be the presence of the spirit. My inner heart was not right. Proving God’s existence in such a mentally tiresome manner is just not the right way to me. I feel that I have exhausted my self and my intellect and crawled a painstaking round to achieve what others have managed to reach in a snap of his fingers. I feel stupid of all the efforts I’ve put in. but I guess it’s a journey I’d have to take. I have learnt during the course of this week that
Miller’s experiment’s result has been rendered meaningless.
A tree of life Darwin illustrated has been uprooted by the biological big bang of the Cambrian explosion.
Haeckel’s doctored embryo drawings did not reflect reality and a fossil record that stubbornly refuses to yield the transitional forms /intermediates crucial to evolutionary theory. Human embryo’s skin flabs are not gills.
Archaeopteryx and the Java man are not transitional forms of nature but are misconceived and unproven claims of scientists.
Also, there is no ground for supposing that matter and energy existed before and was suddenly galvanized into action. It is simpler to postulate creation ‘ex nihilo’ aka Divine will constitutes Nature from nothingness.
The expansion rate of the universe is fine tuned to one part in a trillion trillion trillion trillion where any faster or any slower in any change of direction would not have enabled life on earth.
The fine tuning of the realm we are in shows a cause that’s intelligent not only transcendent.
Human consciousness is evidence of God’s existence. We have the capacity to self reflect, do representational art, and have language and creativity. Science cannot account for that kind of consciousness merely from the interaction of physical matter in the brain.
Finding the truth is not a cognitive exercise but a possible act of worship to God.
My dad hid the book The God Delusion from me. It’s a book written by Richard Dawkins a renowned atheist who haggles intimately on why there is no possibility that a god/gods exist.Yesterday I was looking for it and realized he hid it and he wouldn’t let me have it. Ooo… something in it that I should not know about? There should be nothing to hide and nothing too mature in content for I think I am able to tackle these issues at 19. Well yes I have a more open and choppy relationship with God but I never believe in closing myself to new views for I don’t believe in reading just Lee Strobel, C S Lewis or Rick Warren to get the answers I want. In addition, hiding a book about religious delusion, sensitively unveils an inherent insecurity towards religious issues in Christians these days.
Well I read a small portion the book for one day. One day and immediately the reason why my dad hid the book donned upon me. The spirit I have been filled with became so human. My growing faith watered down to the possibility of mere emotions and self moralization with aid of a concept rather than the doings of a supernatural. Skepticism arises so quickly and His presence begins to fluctuate so violently as I mentally wrestle to deny and argue against and for my belief. But before you begin to worry about me again, I got to say that I have been through this stage very often and as fair as I am, I read things to balance things out. I am young. My mind is still maturing and growing strong. I need this stuff in order for a mind like mine to have faith and to be ascertained that there is truth in the supernatural. There is supernatural truth! There is supernatural truth!
Are we the only creatures that ask why? Yes. Why do humans of all groups seek a God/Gods? Because of a need for a common vessel to moralize society. To bring hope, to enrich lifespan. Why then are we here for: to live and then pass on leaving behind everything we worked so hard for? Well not if you believe. We recognize that we are special. We can think. We seek, we sense and create. We search for answers. We create answers. That’s our problem. We have an emotional seeking side and also a logical scientific side. The scientific element is learnt and the emotional aspect in which we naturally have makes us human and defines humanity. But upon their clash, they contradict many a time. When they clash in topics like religion. Conflicts naturally arise within. Why do we have a conscience for? We are the only beings in this world to change the fate of this world. The power even the 2ndmost intelligent creature like the dolphin or monkey cannot even match up to. Humanity is a subject on the whole, hard to grasp. Our minds are too stupid to know it all and efforts to do so result in over scientific/ over religious / over sentimental slants. Moral of the story? Nothing as big as God could be rationally discussed considering God is of a more complex entity. Seeking to understand whether He is our creator or creation is intellectual suicide. Never take anything you read to heart. Take everything with a dash of salt. For often, the dish cannot be eaten by itself.
Now, I shall move on to what I have read in the book, The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins.
He tells us to imagine a world without religion as an intro. Most prominently, there would be no more inter-religious conflicts and no unnecessary demand for respect non-objectively. But also, he says there would also be no suicide bombers, no 9/11, no 7/7, no Crusades, no witch hunts, no Gunpowder plot, no Indian partition, no Israeli/Palestinian wars, no Serb/Croat/Muslim massacres, no persecution of Jews as ‘Christian-killers’, no Northern Ireland ‘troubles’, no ‘honor killings’, no shiny suited bouffant haired televangelists in US fleecing gullible people of their money (‘God wants you to give till it hurts’), no Taliban to blow up ancient statues, no public beheadings of blasphemers, no flogging of the female skin for the crime of showing an inch of it, etc. Yes these would all not exist without religion but have anyone then considered how naïve a thought this is. It is with all respect an interesting realm that would bring greater peace for the world. But it needs a lot of explanation and reason. Considering the problems religions cause, wiping them out is something extreme. Analogically, it’s like killing humans because they pollute the earth. So because we pollute the earth by emitting unwanted gases into the atmosphere and dumping waste into rivers, we should all die to save the world? Similarly, if religion causes this bad and that bad, should it be wiped out? And what about the good pints of what religion has brought? Most good points of religion as a whole would be personal gains and there is no use listing them down but it’s bountiful too. And considering the exclusivity of each religion as a natural phenomenon think about it, there is bound to be conflict. In fact, world peace cannot be achieved as long as there is sea between lands and differences exist. So blaming religion on its added chaos brought to this world is something Richard needs to ‘suck thumb’ about.
He speaks of the unfairness children find themselves in, brainwashed by their parents. There is no Christian children or Muslim children etc. because these little people are too young to make judgments on such issues like religion. Just like politics or economics. Just take a look at a perfect example of ‘child abuse’ in this Youtube video ‘Jesus camp’.
Christianity today is not a religion that I say is perfectly manned by in some places. Many a time, churches go overboard or go corrupt or delve away from key issues and objectives. It gets more human and secular that way think about it and hence any form of change given to the name of God is probably just some guy/girl who thinks he or she is clever enough to rewrite or redefine what is known for centuries. never take it on the religion. Blame it on poor management or poor selection of leaders etc.
Carl Sagan, in Pale Blue Dot wrote,
How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, ‘this is better than we thought! The universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, and more elegant.’? (note: see this metaphorically of all scientific discoveries) instead they say, ‘No no no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.’ (note: little as in closed to new knowledge of nature’s new sometimes fact changing discoveries) A religion old or new that stressed the magnificence of the universe as revealed by modern science might be able to draw forth reserves of reverence and awe hardly tapped by the conventional faiths.
What he is trying to say is that religion is becoming obsolete and lagging thus increasingly wrong . But at times science do parallel religion for I have heard how scientists also have begun to realize that the world is younger than they thought it was through previous erroneous carbon dating. How then would science be: a boon or a bane to religion? Does science help or destroy religion’s steadfastness?Well, science for one thing disapproves of the supernatural because it is simply unnatural but super natural. Atheists believe in a world where there is nothing beyond the natural, physical world no supernatural creative intelligence lurking behind the observable universe, no soul that outlasts the body and no miracles-except in the sense of natural phenomena that we don’t yet understand. They hope to set things right and not label things yet to be explained supernatural but things yet to be understood perfectly and embrace it within the natural. Richard gives the example of the rainbow and how after discovering how it works; it did not become any less beautiful than it was. He was possibly referring to how Christians see the rainbow after the flood during Noah’s ark as a promise of hope (that he’ll never flood the earth again). I might infer then, rainbows non existence before the flood? This might cause a scientific uproar for rainbowsdo not appear supernaturally but as a refraction/reflection over water (I forgot) as science realized. Anyway, point is, religion written many years ago could possibly be men seeking to find answers to what yet could be explained. Imagine if people then found dinosaur bones… would the world then be so quickly created as seemed in the bible? But you find that fact is fact amongst the people in the past as they struggle to make sense of things yet unknown to them. This as I mentioned is where many begin to use their feelings and emotions to answer their doubts about the yet known natural, resulting in a supernatural answer. Is this it then? Is the bible obsolete now that we can explain what could not be explained years ago? Well, we still have other unnatural things ranging from Voo doo to Jesus’s doings (and many more) yet to be answered adequately as non-supernatural issues.
If ever science manages to explain God's existence, this would bring answers at last. but faith and reason are polar opposites. science asks why to everything all the time. and this revolution of a trend could have sparked the rise of skeptics and christians unsettled by such a seemingly "loopholy" belief.
"You cant put an omnipotent deity in a test tube." Eugene Scott of National Center for science education
Albert Einstein a smart man and here’s what wikipedia has got to say:
By his own definition, Einstein was a deeply religious person (Pais 1982, p. 319). He published a paper in Nature in 1940 entitled Science and Religion which gave his views on the subject. In this he says that: "a person who is religiously enlightened appears to me to be one who has, to the best of his ability, liberated himself from the fetters of his selfish desires and is preoccupied with thoughts, feelings and aspirations to which he clings because of their super-personal value ... regardless of whether any attempt is made to unite this content with a Divine Being, for otherwise it would not be possible to count Buddha and Spinoza as religious personalities. Accordingly a religious person is devout in the sense that he has no doubt of the significance of those super-personal objects and goals which neither require nor are capable of rational foundation...In this sense religion is the age-old endeavour of mankind to become clearly and completely conscious of these values and goals, and constantly to strengthen their effects." He argues that conflicts between science and religion "have all sprung from fatal errors." However "even though the realms of religion and science in themselves are clearly marked off from each other" there are "strong reciprocal relationships and dependencies"... "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind ...a legitimate conflict between science and religion cannot exist." However he makes it clear that he does not believe in a personal God, and suggests that "neither the rule of human nor Divine Will exists as an independent cause of natural events. To be sure, the doctrine of a personal God interfering with natural events could never be refuted...by science, for [it] can always take refuge in those domains in which scientific knowledge has not yet been able to set foot."
In Richard Dawkin’s book, he further presents some of Albert Einstein quotes:
I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it.
The idea of a personal God is quite alien to me and seems even naïve.
I don’t try to imagine a personal God; it suffices to stand in awe at the structure of the world, insofar as it allows our inadequate senses to appreciate it.
From what you can obviously see, he does not exactly believe in a God we believe in who is theistic, aka a God who is intimately involved in human affairs, answers prayers, forgives or punishes sins, intervenes in the world by performing miracles; frets about good and bad deeds, and knows when we do them (or even think about them) on top of the part which God sets up the laws of nature and governs the universe in the beginning of time la. You know even listing down what God does makes me feel queasy I don’t know why… God’s vocation just sounds so subservient to human needs. An answer to all insecurities, making losers winners, giving hope when life doesn’t often bring it. See what I mean by saying how odd things are here. I don’t know how to put it, but God seems to be a desperate act of man to ease reality into a more worthwhile crusade to get to a level of peace with no frills. Like a peace not affected by life/reality/unfairness of this world… hence reaching utopia.
But how can we explain a personal God? In what sense does this concept stand so realistically on? Maybe seeking realism in personal Gods are a waste of time because God can do anything for anything after all he is God. This just gives an unarguable defense then to the question of ‘why’ which is something I don’t like about religion. This is like a government with no transparency. If T.T Durai was a god, he’d be still running NKF. You know maybe its faith. I need to work on my faith in order to reach a level whereby even these questions would no longer even be in my mind to hinder my walk with God. This is the only explanation to avid Christians these days. Pastor Ronald, Brenda, Sim Soo Wei, Pastor David Lim, Pastor Calvin. These people of God hold unwavering faiths amidst so many questions left unanswered in my church.
Faith is the key and I have meditated a bit on the word faith before but faith circles itself around the bible and taking the bible literally and believing in the words it say. hence I do believe that it starts with believing in the possibility of the supernatural of which many instances can be found in the bible. Should I believe in ghosts? My dad who is a strong Christian does. I have a naturalistic mind despite my creative and random streak. Maybe I should start recognizing the mysterious shadow beside mine that definitely does not belong to me.
God in the Old Testament was a petty, unjust, unforgiving control freak, a vindictive, gave bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser, a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochist, capriciously malevolent bully. Well this was possibly because God was firm with us in the past, handling actively on His laws against our choices he both gave us. Or was he a pre-emancipated God before sacrificing His only son and giving us more freedom of some sort? Whatever it is I’m tired. I’ll continue this quest for the truth another day. Today is like any other day for me.
